That night, I spend some time thinking about what we tell our children, about Heaven and God, about what happens when we die - and although I don't believe in any of it, I tell myself that, right now, it's ok for him to believe. After all, as a five-year-old, there are plenty of things that he believes in that I know aren't true.
I want them to grow up to be able to make up their own minds about things and not be easily led. I want them to think things through and make sensible, rational decisions that are fair and just. But I want them to make the same sensible, rational decisions that I make. Otherwise their decisions would be wrong and that would annoy me...
There were nights the crying got so bad, I hoped my son would stop breathing altogether. There were worse nights than that. And the guilt I felt- for those thoughts, and for my inability to help my son- further fuelled my suffering. I felt as though I deserved to hurt. Then one day in our son's second year, my wife convinced me that we should take him to the clinic...
As someone who works with men and boys, these two descriptions of couvade, inspire and excite me. Our ancestors knew the importance of having the father bond with the baby as quickly and as thoroughly as possible. The reduction in testosterone shows how this is a biological and evolutionary imperative.
I hate dogs. I mean I don't just hate them, in a 'shoo, leave me alone' way. I really genuinely hate them. Not their owners - not all of them anyway - just their smelly, waste-producing, noisy, over-enthusiastic, straining-at-the-chains, handbag-sized, fluffy, doe-eyed, saliva-sharing, wet-nosed pets.
UK government policy on parental leave, for example, has been set according to a generalised assumption that men want to take more time off, and work more flexibly, to be with their children. Yet the simple, statistic-backed facts support the opposite conclusion: men aren't yet using even close to the wiggle room they already have.
I looked up the word 'feckless' in the dictionary this morning because, according to those helpful people at Netmums, us dads are too often unfairly labelled as such. Think peanut-brained Homer Simpson, any hopeless lead character in a soap opera and, my favourite, the wonderfully bemused and put-upon dad in Outnumbered.
Given that couples who share childcare more equally are actually more likely to have happier relationships and are more likely to stay together. We need a broader manifesto about what it ought to mean to be a dad in 21st Century Britain. This would complement - not contradict - the father's rights movement's aims.
As an equal parent in and out of working hours for over five years now, I've realised there's no fairytale quite so engaging, but quite so without actual substance, as the modern fatherhood myth. There's a convincing but untrue story about a huge army of fathers out there across the UK, all merrily doing their fair share of childcare, or maybe even more than their female partners. Just take a look outside. Where are the groups of dads sitting in coffee shops, or joining sing-along at the local library?
I hear all the time that the woman has chosen to stay at home and look after the children, while the man has chosen to go to work. Given all these overt and subtle pressures, I wonder whether these are really free choices at all. The only solution is for men to actively take up the mantle of childcare, right from the very earliest days of our children's life.