I know the days spent entertaining the baby and toddler at home by myself are likely to increase now that winter is on it's way... As I can't be arsed to find the rain-cover and spend several hours working out how to re-attach the foot-muff to the buggy. So. Here's my guide to making the most of the rainy days stuck in the house with small people...
As a parent of one child I thought I had everything under control. Baby sleeps through the night? Check. Baby eats a variety of vegetables and interesting textures? Of course. Baby is surpassing all required milestones and showing up the other babies at playgroup? Oh, stop! No need to show off now. I was clearly a natural at this parenting gig. And then number two came along.
It's funny how a small stick with wee on can change your life so dramatically!... well that, and having sex without wearing 'waterproofs. Obviously I didn't wee on the stick, I was tempted though as I'd heard this myth that if you do, and it changes colour or something, it's to do with a faulty prostate.
As you can imagine, I've been keen to have a different experience this time... one that is less utterly disgusting, unrewarding and doesn't end with me sobbing into the Annabel Karmel recipe book with partly digested banana in my fringe whilst inhaling hobnobs in the downstairs toilet at 6pm every evening.
My husband has decided to hire the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra to mow our lawn. He feels that not only would the large number of people involved help get the task completed more quickly, but they might give us a performance afterwards at no extra cost. We are both fans of classical music and effective gardening, but is this a step too far?
'Date Night' is a completely different prospect once you have children. And don't worry - this post isn't going to be some cringey attempt at advising you on a happy marriage once small people rule your life. As we all already know... a happy marriage is what you had before your uterus squeezed out a HUMAN-BEING. TWICE.