Imagine the most unattractive person you know. Now imagine them with a bad case of acne, a greasy barnet and stinky breath. Now think of that same person again, but this time they're the lead singer in the latest chart-topping band.
A couple of weeks back the Glam Rocker left Blighty to embark on a tour of the US and I was joining him for a weekend of Sex in the City. I was Carrie as a brunette with a bulging belly as opposed to a bulging Mulberry.
Right at the end though a blonde lady got up on stage, gave me a kiss, handed me an envelope and gave me the internationally recognised look that means, "You must read this". Nice envelope. Gold. With 'NOEL. X' written on the front. So far, so good.