In the last few weeks I've been to Hoxton, at least twice, bought trainers and a lightweight high-performance puffa jacket, adjudicated two short film awards and harvested enough menopausal facial hair to constitute the makings of a fine beard. Do I qualify as a 'hipster'? In fact, what is a 'hipster'?
People seem to get pretty angry about clothes. Did you know there are whole threads on online forums about people's irrational hatred of certain trends? If you're ever feeling miserable, a quick read through these is guaranteed to make you laugh. My favourite mini rants are documented here under 'People wear things and I don't like them'.
Personal experiences of hipsters are a far cry from Williamsburg, New York but instead it was like watching pockets of East London being swallowed up by a swarm of skinny jean wearing, flat white drinking locusts. As preened men were dubbed "Metrosexuals" and "scallies" evolved into "Chavs"; in my circle "Indie" became "Hipster".
Hipsters know what's 'hip', 'trendy', 'radical' (they'd avoid that word). How they do this depends on your level of skepticism towards the hipster. They are either attuned to the cosmic waves of human awareness, surfers of the collective consciousness, simultaneously drawn to the same games at the same time, or they read the same websites.
The medley of today's media is unprecedented. While Britain's biggest publishers find themselves in similarly unparalleled levels of turmoil - shrinking revenue, the threat of state regulation, and a growing tendency to aim their guns at each other - the range of outlets beneath them is fragmenting like light through a prism.
I've always hate a love/hate relationship with Urban Outfitters, caught between my adoration for their clothes and my disapproval for the controversies they seem so adept at racking up. They might be known for their hipster beanies and shoes with crazy platforms, but who are Urban Outfitters? Who are they really selling to? And what makes them popular?
With the kind of music I make, I never imagined in a million years that I would look out from stage and see guys and girls wearing One Direction t-shirts singing along to what I'm playing, standing next to guys that are almost old enough to be their fathers and who look like they were the Ramones' number one fans.