I made a promise to myself while recovering from my injuries to always put family and friends needs before anything else. In the ensuing years I have managed to keep this promise. What I could not foresee was how this vow would be tested when I was torn between both family and a friend, at the same time, in the past two months.
There's a rumour going around, propagated by [some] polyamorists, that polyamory is a superior ideology to monogamy. Let's face it, 'limitless love' does sound wholly honorable and blissful, even if 'limitless sex' with multiple partners sounds ~ for most of our sex-negative society ~ quite the opposite.
I used to dread going to the hairdresser, chiefly because the stylist always touched my hair as if it was an envelope marked 'anthrax', rolled their eyes when I asked for 'more blonde' and could barely conceal their laughter when I produced pictures torn from magazines of Kate Bosworth (fair enough).
Irrespective of whether Hollande was involved in another relationship or not, for I am not here to cast judgement, the question of integrity is one to raise on the basis of Hollande's choices to hide behind and use as an excuse French cultural ways, rather than stand as a true leader and be completely transparent.
Currently I believe that what is urgently required is greater truth and integrity from those in whom we put our trust. The trouble is, the embedded culture of secrecy and obfuscation makes this objective extremely difficult to achieve. Moreover, simply increasing performance measures and targets will definitely not help.
No man is an island. All of us need to ensure that we have a good diversity of friendships in our lives, it is essential to our mental health. In order to promote this we need to change the negative, hardening messages our boys receive from an early age. 'Be strong, boys don't cry, tough it out, don't show pain, be brave my little soldier, man up, you wuss!'
We need to have a society where more credit is given to those who, because of their inside knowledge of organisational wrong-doing, chose to expose the truth. Unless this happens, the sort of scandals in the seen in the NHS, finance and banking and politics in terms of false expenses, to name but a few, will continue with monotonous regularity.