#Humor

Seven Ways to Stop You Killing Each Other When You Have Kids

Emma Conway | Posted 01.05.2016 | UK Parents
Emma Conway

When you have a baby you think that you and your other half will immediately be in tune with each other. That you will be the dream co-parent duo. Other couples will be amazed at how well you are coping. Cue two weeks in and you are screaming "IT'S YOUR F*CKING TURN TO CHANGE THE NAPPY" and throwing a sterilisation bowl off their head. So here are a few ways I have survived the last five years being in charge of small children... with another adult.

Sanctuary of the Shower

Mark Bryce | Posted 27.04.2016 | UK Parents
Mark Bryce

I found myself being backed into a corner, or more accurately a cubicle, and it wasn't long before the sanctuary of the shower was all that remained.

Don't Be a 'Ten Wipe Trevor'

Eddie Lewis | Posted 13.04.2016 | UK Parents
Eddie Lewis

Where does the female half of the species learn this unprecedented skill? Was there an open day or meeting I missed where there were a dozen prosthetic backsides all laid out in a row and covered with Nutella. I like to imagine a stern lady barking out wiping orders to an ensemble of new mothers all learning the skill that us Dad's envy.

'Unidentified Item in the Bagging Area' - Shopping With a Toddler

Nick King | Posted 21.03.2016 | UK Parents
Nick King

The checkouts are busy. No, they are overwhelmed. So despite having a full trolly we go for the self service check outs. In the style of a Hannah Barberra cartoon, where a mini devil sits on one of the character's shoulders while a mini angel sits on the other, voices debate in my head as I make this choice.

'Okey Cokey, Pig in a Pokey' - Inside Britain's Re-employment Training

Ed Green | Posted 29.02.2016 | UK
Ed Green

Fans of the League of Gentlemen will know that Royston Vasey is nothing without diabolical Job Centre Restart Officer Pauline Campbell-Jones, she of t...

Valentine's: Before Kids vs After Kids

Claire Kirby | Posted 11.02.2016 | UK Parents
Claire Kirby

People say that romance is difficult after kids. I would actually argue that due to a significant drop in both standards and expectations, romance after the children come along, is actually easier. Allow me to demonstrate...

When you Attend a Friend's Party Without Your Baby

Andrew Robinson | Posted 26.01.2016 | UK Parents
Andrew Robinson

You are invited to a friend's party, you both look at each other and soon realise this could be an incredible opportunity to ask grandparents to see whether they could look after baby for a few hours. A chance for us both to have a few hours to ourselves to spend some quality time together without baby.

Date Night With Your Baby as a Guest

Andrew Robinson | Posted 25.01.2016 | UK Parents
Andrew Robinson

Calling all couples who remember going out for a meal 'pre-baby' days. Go grab a cup of coffee, sit down and take a minute to delve in to the depths of your memory to revisit those priceless moments.

The "I-Am-More-Tired-Than-You" Parental War Raging Inside Your Home

Andrew Robinson | Posted 19.01.2016 | UK Parents
Andrew Robinson

Tiredness when you have a child does not disappear. It stays with you like eczema. I haven't had a dream in 18 months. In fact, I haven't slept in 18 months. I am currently defying medical science. My brain has basically told its replenishment team to take permanent annual leave as there is no point in replenishing brain cells and restocking my general well-being. They agreed.

Welcome to the Unique World of a Baby's Night Feeds

Andrew Robinson | Posted 14.01.2016 | UK Parents
Andrew Robinson

If you are reading this from the hours of midnight and sunrise you are probably in the middle of one of the most physically demanding parts of parenthood - the night feeds. Yes, the good ol' middle of the night milk feasts. This post aims to ensure your eyes do not slam shut whilst baby takes a decade to drink a few millilitres of milk.

Tantrums and Threesomes; Trials and Tribulations of Teenagers on the Train

Kylie Barton | Posted 03.01.2016 | UK Comedy
Kylie Barton

Image Source The only good thing about a packed train at 5pm on a weekday is that you can listen in with ease on a variety of comic teenage talks as ...

Five Symptoms of Edinburgh Festival Participant Leftover Bodily Function Syndrome

Helen Sorren | Posted 03.09.2015 | UK Comedy
Helen Sorren

The Festival has ended but you can't quite seem to get it out of your system. Here are five common symptoms to watch out for when suffering from Edinburgh Festival Participant Leftover Bodily Functions Syndrome.

Rockets and Humour: Three Amusing Anecdotes

Thomas Moorton | Posted 12.08.2015 | UK Tech
Thomas Moorton

"A good rule for rocket experimenters to follow is this: always assume it will explode." - Letter to the Editors of Astronautics, 1937 I'm sure tha...

Sex and the Married Depressive

Christian Talbot | Posted 06.04.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Christian Talbot

In my case I have to say the effect hasn't been that pronounced. In fact if anything it's been a positive boon... Don't be afraid to go and discuss your mental health or any concerns you have about anti-depressants with your doctor. They love a good laugh.

The Ages of Soft Play

Claire Kirby | Posted 23.03.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Claire Kirby

Hey kids, listen up. We all love soft play, right? You can run indoors. Really fast. And not get told off. You can climb up stuff, jump down from stuff, and you can be loud. Anything your Mum won't let you do at home, you can do here. So here it is the definitive guide to soft play through the ages.

Why New Year Resolutions Are For Wimps!

Sheila Ware | Posted 22.02.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Sheila Ware

This New Year I have decided things will be different. Not for me the guilt-trip of recrimination that generally follows my orgy of over-indulgence during the Christmas holidays. In short, I have decided that come January I will no longer be making public declarations of unrealistic New Year Resolutions.

X

Jason Bartholomew | Posted 18.02.2015 | UK Comedy
Jason Bartholomew

I am an American living in London. Aside from the obvious differences - we spell it color, soccer is football, it is tidbit and not titbit (you perverts) - the flagrant, haphazard, and frankly over abundant use of the ubiquitous 'x' (a kiss) sign-off in written correspondences leaves me baffled. What are the rules?

Bit of a Grey Area

Ben Shires | Posted 24.12.2014 | UK Comedy
Ben Shires

These are awkward situations at the best of times, but at least I was looking sharp. Or so I thought. "You're going grey!" she squawked, triumphantly, before I'd even had a chance to recount how well I was doing and how it had all weirdly coincided with us parting ways.

Celebrity Nude Pictures - A Survival Guide

Dan Miles | Posted 09.11.2014 | UK Comedy
Dan Miles

to celebrate your love through the medium of photography, or perhaps, the making of amateur motion pictures. This is nothing to be ashamed of, and what happens in the privacy of your own home, or perhaps, workplace should remain private and confidential.

Na-Nu Na-Nu

Zoe Clark-Coates | Posted 12.10.2014 | UK
Zoe Clark-Coates

What a tragic loss to the world of comedy. Without writing any more words you know who I am speaking of....the legend that is Robin Williams.

Mr Ross Doesn't Work For Free

Ross Semple | Posted 01.10.2014 | UK Comedy
Ross Semple

It wasn't until the end of the shift that one of the girls I was working with let it slip that I wouldn't be getting paid for my time. Yes, that is correct. Aside from a few pounds in tips, I wasn't getting compensated or my time. I might as well just have spent the evening engaging in my normal routine of obsessive cleaning and reality television.

The Silver Lining: Single Life, Kittens and Unrequited Love

Katie Beswick | Posted 22.09.2014 | UK Lifestyle
Katie Beswick

I fucking hate cats, usually. Like men, they're either ugly, good-looking but dumb to the point of irrelevance, or else transparently cunning. And, also like men, they do that thing where they treat you with indifference, until you withdraw your affections, and then they're all over you like salt on chips.

11 Reasons Why You Are Reading This

Steph Weller | Posted 03.06.2014 | UK
Steph Weller

If I pick up my phone to use it for its original purpose - to actually ring someone, the temptation is to just have a peek at my newsfeeds. I then get sidetracked and find myself scrolling through '14 of the Most Hilarious Mullet Hairstyles, Ever', but why?

I Like Old Clothes and I Cannot Lie

Ben Shires | Posted 09.02.2014 | UK Comedy
Ben Shires

My only real party gripe, and one I fear is acutely specific to me, is that small talk - the lifeblood of the latter uPBE - often throws up a situation that leaves me stumped. And annoyingly, it's all my own fault.

Let's Raise the Age Of Consent to 35

Sal Thomas | Posted 23.01.2014 | UK Comedy
Sal Thomas

Ashton argues that almost a third of under-16s have already had intercourse, so lowering the limit will send a clear message to 14s and under that they absolutely cannot have sex for another 12 months. But where does it end? Over a third of under-16s have tried booze, but that doesn't mean we should let them into pubs. For a start they can't afford to buy a round, the free-loading bastards.