The fear of losing what you have worked hard for can paralyse you into not even thinking about the future. Yet there comes a point when you start to become ineffective in a life you don't love. The cracks start to appear. If you're employed, you start being over looked, or worse, you start to be a drag to be around.
I've sat down to write this a thousand times. At least in my head I have. For the past few months I have been struggling with, for want of a better expression, writer's block. I have been drowning in doubt and question why I am even bothering whenever I open a word document. This has happened for both creative writing and blog posts.
It's simple: "The only way of living in a free society is to feel that you have the right to say and do stuff." Said Salman Rushdie. Go figure. Let truth and falsehood grapple. How do we know what is right if we don't know wrong and the case that is made for wrong. Ideas may be distasteful and deeply disagreeable, but we cannot airbrush and disappear that and those people that we disagree with.
For the last two months I have been interviewing consistently. I appreciate for many that that in itself is a success to celebrate, especially in my chosen field, until you see the dedicated folder I have for rejections and the excel sheet I keep of ongoing applications. However, a worrying trend is emerging.
The close down of Posterous was a sad moment for me. In as much as it seemed to officially mark the end of what had felt like a brave new approach - I'm not sure to what but certainly new - in an instant world of publishing to large audiences that seemed to hold powerful potential in the right hands.
Recently, I was listening to the story of Felix Baumgartner as I was getting ready to go to work. Baumgartner is an Austrian extreme athlete who was aiming to break the sound barrier in a supersonic skydive over New Mexico. He was planning to jump from a capsule floated 23 miles into the stratosphere by a huge helium balloon, and Chris Evans was getting very excited about it all.
Stress is arguably one of the most powerful human emotions. Triggered by work, home, friends, family, events that have happened, events that are happening, events that may happen, stress is present in all facets of our lives. The manifestations of stress cause our brains to shut down and our bodies to react in extreme ways.
I'm one of the organisers of the London Philosophy Club. We're one of hundreds of self-organised ideas and discussion groups that have mushroomed all over the world in the last 10 years.
It could be argued that the Occupy movement has chosen to defy easy categorisation, and simply represents a collection of concerned citizens, eager to show contempt for the system as it stands. I got the impression, though, that the disparate responses weren't so much a positive choice as a reluctant admission that nothing really powerful or compelling has yet taken shape.