Here's the thing though: all of the awkwardness, the distance, the coldness and initial confusion goes out of the window the second they start playing. With a rhythm section that possesses you from the waist down with all of the force of an old Motown outfit, you can't help but be mesmerised by the musicianship on show.
While the band's appearance on Later With Jools Holland was being televised, The Arctic Monkeys were delighting their fans in the North East with a career-spanning 20-song set. There can be little doubt that the 2012/13 season has proved to be their best yet in a career which has been meteoric to say the least.
It's now less than four weeks until the third annual AIM Independent Music Awards takes place, and last night we were finally able to reveal this year's nominees. And what a fine bunch they are! Our judges have done a terrific job this year of shining a spotlight on the wealth and diversity of talent supported by the UK's thriving independent labels.
Last month, the BBC ran a chart of every Glastonbury Pyramid Stage headliner since the festival started (I'd link to it, but it seems to have disappeared). Over to the right of the chart, taking up quite a lot of space by virtue of the number of letters involved, were Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine.
So, why is it that, unlike my fellow comrades assembled around me in this café, I still desire, nay, demand, a record contract? After all, I can still create my music and release it on a plethora of digitally-based platforms. I don't need the permission of one of the music industry's behemoth labels to be a musician, do I?
The news of Morrissey's possible retirement was always unlikely to knock the Eurozone crisis off the front page. Why should we care?
Faster than you can say, "JLS in boat shoes and thrift store plaid shirts", the pop world has become obsessed with indie. If you're both an Animal Collective enthusiast and shameless pop fanatic like me, you'll notice it feels a bit weird. Like watching your best friend get off with a work colleague at your own birthday party.