Failing that, it has the cash to at least look into making a completely guilt-free iPhone. Every hipster, hippie and hip-anything is as hooked on their Apple products as they are on extremely questionable fashions, facial hair and kale, which is just lettuce pretending to be hip, but don't tell anyone.
With over 10 million of the new iPhone 6 phones sold already world wide, that's a lot of fingers and wrists in regular use - let's hope Apple and all the major tech companies heed the need for designs that support our joints.
Jonny Ive got it right, the design of the actual hardware is just perfect. The shape. The weight. The curves. All utterly gorgeous. The device really is an absolute pleasure to hold and to use, for better or worse, till death (or dropping accidentally to the ground) do us part.
The problem is not so much that Apple is late to the "phablet" party; the company itself pointed out that it has a proven track record of entering a sector after others and yet still establishing a commanding position. The real issue is that the new devices - despite all of their improvements and shiny new features - offer little that is truly exciting or unique enough to tempt new users over to the Apple family. They're just too, well, samey.
Amazon will unleash its very first smartphone on the UK market in just two weeks' time. Just a day before the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus were unveiled, Amazon swept in and announced that its coolly named Fire Phone would be going Transatlantic, and will launch here in the UK on September 30.
It is not a particularly new concept for one to want to track their performance and development when it comes to certain activities but the ability to be able to this is quickly picking up pace due to the ongoing development of Quantified Self.
Various cats have been set amongst the pigeons in Berlin this week. Consumer electronics trade show IFA has been the launch pad for some exciting smartphone unveilings, including flagship and top-end mobiles from Samsung, Sony and Microsoft. ..
The iPhone used to be exciting and interesting. It used to be aspirational and high-end. Now the world and his dog has an Apple handset and it's turned from something special into a poor substitute for one of the countless alternatives... The iPhone is run of the mill. It is predictable. It's just plain boring.
When the iPhone 6 is inevitably released in September it'll be with a mixture of apathy and regret that I'll start working out how best to buy it. You see the iPhone has become a purchase of convenience, nothing more.
What Tim Cook needs to do is stop trying to copy how Jobs did it and instead work on his own version of what Jobs was good at - tantalizing, beguiling and holding beautiful things up in the light and saying "Here you are, look at this. Want one? Well you can have one... but not just yet." He needs to find a new and unique way of doing it.
Large, black handsets; flat bodies with curved edges and wrap-around screens: just a few of the predictions that made up the usual clamour preceding the latest iPhone launch. And it was guesswork that - for once - seemed to undershoot the reality. Seriously, if large screens and curved edges are the best we can come up with, then it's a good job we're not in charge of Apple development.
Could the spectacular success of Apple's iPhone sow the seeds of its demise? Within a couple of months we're due to see the fifth incarnation of arguably the world's most successful consumer product in a generation.