The sad thing is I don't even feel confident anymore going to friends' houses with the two of them. I can't sit down and leave them to wander and I can't follow them both when they go in different directions. Most friends don't need stairgates anymore or don't have to worry about things like hot drinks being grabbed or breakables being within reach.
Yet, many of us are left in the immediate care of a male partner who, quite frankly, will have not a clue about what we have been through. Neither of us may be familiar with the intimate and relentlessness of caring for a tiny babe. We may be struggling to breastfeed. We may well be carrying physical and/or emotional wounds from labour.
Isolation can be a cause of addiction. It's also a common symptom. It might be a chicken or the egg argument, but addicted individuals tend to isolate themselves in order to hide their addiction. On the other hand, isolation can also be the trigger that leads people down the road of substance abuse.
Loneliness is not an illness. Like dehydration or hunger it is the body's call for something crucial it lacks, though like an illness it can be debilitating to an individual, stripping them of their happiness and self esteem, not to mention potentially dangerous physical symptoms, such as high blood pressure. It is recognised and certifiably dangerous, and loneliness isn't nearly as talked about as it should be.
What I am saying is try your best to talk to someone, but also don't not talk to anyone. Otherwise, you'll end up feeling worse. I want to say that I wish I had talked about my personal problems earlier in order to get rid of this burden before it got worse - but how can I regret something that is immensely difficult to do?
Hi, my name is Paul Klein; and I'm in a band, that you've probably never heard of, called LANY. Recently, we wrote a song titled "where the hell are my friends." I knew that loneliness was a very #relatable sentiment, but it wasn't until we released the song that I understood its actual scope. Loneliness is an epidemic of the internet generation. It's sad, it's interesting, and it's very real.
I don't use the term breakdown lightly. In fact there is still some doubt in my mind as to what I actually went through, (breakdown was used by my counsellor), but I know that it was big. I suppose I use a variety of terms to do with my mental health rather interchangeably; emotional instability, unhappiness, depression; for me they are all aspects of the same thing.
Living with the feeling that your life and existence mean very little to anyone at all can create a dangerous state of mind, only worsened by the idea that the reason for your loneliness is shameful. Those who are estranged are too often reminded of the isolating family myth - that everyone else in society is enjoying a functional and close family experience.
We all write it, a simple phrase that echoes a desire to remain connected to people who are personally or professionally important to us. Throughout most of our lives it may not mean much, but as people get older and potentially their number of contacts diminishes, keeping in touch takes on a whole new meaning.