Do you want my alternative, semi-serious take on the Nick vs Nigel clash over Europe, Ed Miliband's 'weirdness' and Kermit the Frog's opposition to Scottish independence? Here's the political week in 60 seconds.
The victims of this are the Cleggs of this world. The kind of person who uploads an apology video to YouTube after breaking a promise, is no longer in any way relatable. He claims to be acting in our best interest; he might even believe that he is. But, in a cynical world where it is more honest to be the dishonest man, the Cleggs must be suppressed.
It can sometimes stick in the throat to hear these politicians eulogising about "honour" when they seem so short of it themselves... Nick Clegg praised Tony Benn for being a "fervent defender of what he believed in", seemingly forgetting his own paltry commitment to defend students from a hike in tuition fees.
As we draw closer to the European elections on 22 May, more and more business leaders are speaking out in favour of Britain's membership of the European Union. Not a day seems to go by without another major employer warning of the risks for Britain's jobs and economy of a potential EU exit.
We've learnt a lot since the prospect of fracking for shale gas first reared its head in the UK. One thing hasn't changed though - fracking remains incompatible with building the kind of green energy future we need to avert the very worst climate change.
The deputy prime minister may be the underdog going into his live clash with the Ukip leader on the European Union, but he has proved himself handy at TV debates. Farage, on the other hand, claims not have prepared for these bouts - and is pretty poor when it comes to dealing with the detail.
Nationwide implementation of the living wage would harm employment prospects for the lowest paid and those aiming to join the labour market, stifle any chance of a business led recovery and provide more money for the Treasury, not for hardworking people.
Despite the effected disinterest of some of their English MPs, the breakup of the union could shatter the Conservatives. After all, what would be the purpose of a right-wing party that can no longer uphold the most basic and fundamental tenant of conservatism - the preservation and continuation of the nation.
Ed Miliband's bold declaration of war on housing shortages in the UK is his latest in a series of moves to win the young vote. And what's more, it might just work.
This Saturday I will speak at a Lib Dem Conference fringe meeting, for the first time since my resignation was demanded by the Lib Dem President Navnit Dholakia...
The destruction of David Owen's career was a personal tragedy for him - jeered at, spat upon, abused and threatened, he settled for a quieter life. But his story is our tragedy, too. In our politics, the way we run it, the way we like it, the righteous are mashed up and spat out.
Not voting in the European elections on 22 May means letting others decide what Europe you will live in and what opportunities you will and won't have in the future. That's why engaging and participating is so important.
It is quite clear now that, 14 months before the election is held, the two leaders of the government are no longer pulling in the same direction and politicking is taking over. It isn't the policy that's driven them apart; it is, for each of them, their own personal survival... For all the surface calm, they are each now trying to destroy the other.
"I think they've changed". Such were the touching and heartfelt words of Nick Clegg, leader of the Liberal Democrats and Deputy Prime Minister when referring to the Labour party in a recent interview on BBC Radio 4. "...changed" Funny that, Nick...
If MPs can't be trusted to behave like adults, maybe we should take a leaf out of Supernanny's book. Giving MPs a time out for bad behaviour might just be the only way we can get them to play nicely, and learn to respect others.
We've now had it confirmed. Not only do many of Britain's business chiefs, Barack Obama and other world leaders think Britain would lose out if we left the EU, so too does the head of the World Trade Organisation, Roberto Azevêdo...