Divorce sounds pretty final doesn't it? But for some couples that is not the end of the story. There have been a few high profile divorce cases recently where the court has ruled that divorce payments must increase, despite the fact that the couples divorced many years earlier and their children are grown up.
I fought for ages about seeking professional help. My defense was "I'm fine!". On reflection, the early days of the split were when I needed help the most, over 4 years on I believe that this lack of professional help in the early stages has impacted on how I deal with my emotions now. Go get help and don't be embarrassed about it!
Parents have to find a way to discuss these and other parentings issues and protect their children from acrimony and avoidable hurt and loss. Mediation creates a safe and neutral place for these conversations to take place. Furthermore, the mediator is highly trained and experienced in facilitating their much needed conversations and can help with formulating new boundaries and ways of communicating and planning that work.
Don't ever give up on love. One thing I believe to be true is that, life is ALWAYS conspiring on our behalf, and I have absolutely no regrets in any of it, no matter how hard it got (and boy did it get hard!!). Keep the faith, keep looking ahead and allow your heart to soften, and your dreams to blossom. Don't let life toughen you too much, often when there is a heartbreak it can be a blessing in disguise to allow an even better match in to your life.
If you are thinking about a divorce, your head will be full of worries about the future. Will you be able to afford two households? Who gets what? And how on earth do you "share the children"? The last thing you want is uncertainty about the divorce procedure. Do you instruct a solicitor or do you come to a mediator? Here is a brief overview of the best possible use of both since the two approaches complement each other.
9th April 2012 was the day my parents decided to separate. The date of their separation will always stay with me as my life rapidly changed after. Decisions such as 'What shall we have for dinner tonight?' suddenly changed to decisions concerning whether me and my sisters will still be able to live together...
Families with kids will have their term time routine thrown into chaos as the children are off school for 6-8 weeks at a time. Partners often have different expectations of holiday time. I often hear that mum's need a break from the children and Dad's need a break from work. So arguments arise when nobody wants to do the mundane housework or entertain the kids all day long.
Many of us get stuck in a rut after a break-up and find it hard to move forward. It can be hard to get over someone when they are constantly in your thoughts. Confidence and self-esteem always take a hit when it's not your choice to end the relationship and hiding away can be a good way of avoiding having to face up to this.
A Judge has recently ruled in the case of Tracey Wright that she should go out and get herself a job rather than rely on her ex-husband to provide maintenance for her to live on. This has caused huge ripples as there is now expected to be a huge rush to the courts to renegotiate divorce settlements.
Telling the children is the part that many parents fear the most. The last thing that they want to do is hurt their children and it's a really difficult conversation to have as the consequences are life changing for the whole family. However there are some guidelines that will make it a little easier if you follow them.