When a girl experiences their partner even looking at another female, it can be a great punch to the gut. I have been with my partner for five years, and yes, he does make the occasional comment about another girl he has seen. The only thing is that now, I am more likely to say 'yeah, she's attractive'.
From the moment I was handed your death certificate, I have had to reluctantly crawl and claw my way back to what non spouse bereaved members of society would call 'normal' whilst crippled by nerves and anxiety, my physical and mental health continually hanging by a thread during a drunken haze of euphoric reflection.
When I speak to people about my sobriety, they imagine either that I am fighting a constant battle against temptation or that I no longer have any thoughts about drinking at all. The reality is somewhere in between. The best way to describe it is through the metaphor of something most of us can relate to - a relationship with an ex-partner, from the initial meet, to the aftermath of the break-up.
How many people have you just 'known' were going to marry the wrong man or woman? But did you take them aside before their big day and quietly ask if they were 'sure' they were marrying the right person? Girl-to-girl, this is code for "You must be NUTS marrying this guy. He's a cheating, unreliable jerk." Or man-to-man, did you simply tell him point-blank "This woman is BAD news. Don't marry her. She will wreck your life."