God knows I've spent enough of my own money on presenting my show here this month. I daren't count how much. No doubt all comedians here could - collectively - have relieved a small African state from the heavy shackles of debt.
I'm here to perform character comedy for the annual comedy festival at the Baxter Concert Hall in the grounds of the University of Cape Town. I'm on with some very well known South African comics, a brilliant Canadian clown and one or two of my comrades from the UK.
Being encouraged to climb a fibre-glass cow at quarter to four in the morning with two girls from Lancaster and an accountant named Henry is exactly the sort of thing I promised myself to avoid during the Edinburgh Festival this year.