Recently, Coronation Street ran the heartbreaking story of Steve and Michelle suffering a late miscarriage and losing their baby. It is a devastating experience that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Unsurprisingly, with it coming into the fore, emotions will be running high for anyone who has experienced any sort of miscarriage.
I went for my 12 week scan three weeks ago and found out I had a missed miscarriage. I hadn't even heard of missed miscarriages before then and have since realised that miscarriages in general aren't really talked about and are something we deal with in private. But I wish more people would talk about them.
Perhaps it was being put deep under by the anaesthesia, for I am told it really is a little like dying. Well the closest one comes to dying without actually... dying; when you are sedated enough for them to cut into you. Maybe it was that which dropped me deep into myself, enough to touch the stuff that really mattered. The debris hidden behind decades of conditioning shot to the top.
Every twinge and cramp caused me to panic, and I tortured myself with endless Google searches. One moment I could be wildly optimistic having read of a woman whose measurements had been the same as mine and yet went on to have a healthy baby, seconds later I would be in floods of tears imagining myself going through the next seven months of pregnancy...