Do you want my alternative, semi-serious take on round two of the Nick vs Nigel debate over Europe, Dave and Ed slagging each other off at PMQs and the prime minister's affection for Waitrose and Ocado? Here's the political week in 60 seconds.
This has been a week disproportionately affected by endings. The How I Met Your Mother finale brought Ted Mosby's rambling and often wildly inappropriate story to his kids to a conclusion that had mixed reviews, which I won't divulge lest I sound the spoilers klaxon...
For a British politician, being patriotic implies a deep understanding of British culture, values and national interest, and the willingness and ability to stick up for those values. Farage demonstrated a total misinterpretation of British culture and history and the values on which that culture is based.
What a couple of ding-dongs! The debates, I mean, not those taking part. LBC and the BBC allowed our two heroes to square up to each other over the course of a brace of battles. Who came out the winner?
Nigel Farage won his second television debate with Nick Clegg by an even larger margin than last week. Fully 68% said the UKIP leader ‘performed better overall’, up from 57% after the first debate, while Clegg’s rating slipped from 36% to 27%...
"If it is good enough for Iceland to do it," Nigel Farage remarked in the first of his two televised debates with Nick Clegg, "I'm damned certain the British with 64million can do even better." The Ukip leader was referring to a free trade agreement that the Icelandic government signed with China in April 2013, despite the tiny Nordic country not being a member of the EU.
Moments before Nigel Farage and Nick Clegg took to the stage for their second debate on Europe, the Ukip leader made a controversial comment stating that it was "more than likely" that it was not Assad but the rebels who had used chemical gas in Syria. Surely this was an open-goal for the Deputy Prime Minister to win the debate hands down? It wasn't. Farage triumphed instead.
I switched on the radio on last Wednesday evening to hear men shouting over the top of each other. A new "Mens' Hour"? A replay of Tuesday's football? No, it was the monotone sound of our supposed democracy in action...
We've learnt that just as understanding what constitutes a sublime piece of music is central to appreciating it anywhere, knowing what constitutes a good argument is vital to deciding whether Nick Clegg or Nigel Farage has made the better case for their position, regardless of how we personally feel about them or their politics.
Nick Clegg's timely recent intervention on the failures of the global war on drugs, and advocacy of an alternative strategy, is an important call to arms that other political leaders should heed.
Do you want my alternative, semi-serious take on the Nick vs Nigel clash over Europe, Ed Miliband's 'weirdness' and Kermit the Frog's opposition to Scottish independence? Here's the political week in 60 seconds.
With politicians having precisely nothing to do but prepare for an election, Nick Clegg, the future former Deputy Prime Minister, and Nigel Farage, the UK's biggest insignificance, debated the EU on Wednesday night...
The victims of this are the Cleggs of this world. The kind of person who uploads an apology video to YouTube after breaking a promise, is no longer in any way relatable. He claims to be acting in our best interest; he might even believe that he is. But, in a cynical world where it is more honest to be the dishonest man, the Cleggs must be suppressed.
It can sometimes stick in the throat to hear these politicians eulogising about "honour" when they seem so short of it themselves... Nick Clegg praised Tony Benn for being a "fervent defender of what he believed in", seemingly forgetting his own paltry commitment to defend students from a hike in tuition fees.
As we draw closer to the European elections on 22 May, more and more business leaders are speaking out in favour of Britain's membership of the European Union. Not a day seems to go by without another major employer warning of the risks for Britain's jobs and economy of a potential EU exit.
The best thing to come out of the debate tonight for Clegg would be to not sound like the wet fish he normally does. And if he asks the questions that Mehdi Hasan has suggested, he may as well just give up now.