Do you want my alternative, semi-serious take on Ed Miliband's troubles, Nick Clegg's comeback and the George Clooney comparison? Here's the political week in 60 seconds.
Climate change demands a collective response. We can't expect other countries to act if we don't. And as UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon said: "Science has spoken. There is no ambiguity in their message. Leaders must act; time is not on our side."
I am delighted to say we have committed to keeping mental health at the centre of the political debate - now let's hear everyone talking about it.
The Lib Dems do not believe that the game is over. Whilst they are obviously worried about what will happen next year, they remain bullish. What we also saw though was leading MPs thinking about what a post-Clegg world might look like.
Clegg is not alone this week in turning on his leader. In his new autobiography, former England cricketer Kevin Pietersen takes a swipe at his Vice Captain Matt Prior, describing the wicket keeper as 'a Dairylea triangle thinking he was a Brie'.
Liberal Democrats in Glasgow are demob happy. Not because they are pleased to be languishing at 7% in the polls, but because it's too late to do anything about it.
Conference season comes hard on the breathtakingly long holiday that our diligent representatives enjoy in the summer. It is so long, it straddles both Spring and Autumn and would probably subsume Winter, if they did not also get a stonking great break over Christmas.
A wondrous event took place in London town last night. A premiere like no other, vInspired's Swing The Vote set out to reveal what's remained a secret 'til now: exactly what will get the UK's 18-24 year olds to the ballot box next summer.
If Scotland goes independent they'll wonder, what went wrong in Westminster? In other words how, within weeks of the referendum did 300 years of union and 3 years of political confidence become a sudden and desperate battleground between Team Scotland and Team Westminster?
'Seriously, guys,' said Nick, coming back from the buffet car carrying three takeaway lattes in one of those elaborate egg-carton cup carriers. 'Guys. Seriously.' 'God Nick, what now?' David was looking tired while Ed slurped his latte gratefully and quickly.
As a nation shaped by the coast and drawn to the sea the news, announced by the deputy prime minister Nick Clegg, that a coastal footpath around the shores of England will be completed ten years early by 2020 represents one great big stride to opening up access to a remarkable coastline.
When people steal from the state through benefit fraud (usually out of desperation), there's public outcry. But when the state steals from the people by failing to provide even a basic standard of living, whilst corruption and tax evasion runs unchecked, we're told it's all part of a necessary strategy for economic recovery.
Nick Clegg's personal poll ratings are dire officially the worst since polling began, and worse even than Michael Foot, Iain Duncan Smith or Gordon Brown.
The rise of Ukip, the vitriolic discussion over the relaxation of border controls relating to Romania and Bulgaria, the abolishment of the UKBA and now the problems at the Passport Office, show that immigration is, without doubt, an all-consuming issue for the public and one that is going to be at the front of voters' minds on and before 7 May 2015. However, the government, rather than shadow boxing with Ukip by continuing to make claims over a net migration figure they have no control over, should create a structure that ensures immigration is given its full attention. After all you can have as many silver bullet policies as you like, but without the gun to fire them you're never going to hit the target.
We interviewed Nick Clegg in a small and noisy constituency office, and he bounced in the room, a bit like Tigger, and was surprising friendly, especially considering he's had a long day of meetings.
Twenty councils, among them Green-led Brighton and Hove, asked the government for powers to put a levy on big supermarkets in their area. The money is to be used to support local communities damaged by the business practices of these giants... small businesses and cooperatives could again flower and grow in communities around the country.