Do you want my alternative, semi-serious take on Labour's cringeworthy party election broadcast video about Nick Clegg, as well as the ongoing accusations of racism and hypocrisy against the UK Independence Party?
Use the advent of new systems of communication to broaden your horizons, to learn and experience new things. Exploit the decline of party politics: now is the chance to develop opinions without the limiting nature of partisan groupthink.
Dear voters, you are right. We have failed you. Your elected representatives have failed to protect you and your families from a catastrophic financial and economic melt-down... and we have failed to demonstrate the sort of moral probity that you are entitled to expect when you entrust us with your vote.
David Cameron said when he came to power he wanted to improve people's happiness - that government policy was to be more focused on those things that make life worthwhile. To this end, the Cabinet Office has recently revealed which jobs in the UK give us the most satisfaction. Top of the list, of 274 job titles, is vicar; bottom of the list, is pub landlord. It is perhaps a surprise that these two jobs should be at opposite ends of the table given that they share many similarities: they both have dwindling regulars, both dish out wine and nibbles and if you spend a long time in either's establishment, you can think imaginary people are talking to you.
By now tens of thousands of words have been written about the Nick Clegg vs Nigel Farage debates but I think you can sum them up in just three: They were rubbish. While no one was expecting either man to be an Obama (or even a Romney) we deserved a higher standard than what was essentially a playground spat.
Cross-border telecommunications are cheaper and easier after the EU abolished national monopolies for fixed-line services. The price of phonecalls has plummeted. Since 2000, the cost of a 10-minute call within the EU has fallen by an average of 74%...
In the lead up to 2015, David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband all have one key issue to address - that of trust. Until the public can regain confidence in the parliamentary system as well as their respect for MPs, the electorate will find it hard to determine which way to vote, if indeed they vote at all.
What's driving these changes is the Conservative's social philosophy infused with ideals of individual responsibility and ending the 'evils of dependency'. It's social malevolence, not economic pragmatism. The same can be said of the environment. Environmental campaigners are calling for government action but taking action is anathema to Conservative ideology.
Do you want my alternative, semi-serious take on round two of the Nick vs Nigel debate over Europe, Dave and Ed slagging each other off at PMQs and the prime minister's affection for Waitrose and Ocado? Here's the political week in 60 seconds.
This has been a week disproportionately affected by endings. The How I Met Your Mother finale brought Ted Mosby's rambling and often wildly inappropriate story to his kids to a conclusion that had mixed reviews, which I won't divulge lest I sound the spoilers klaxon...
For a British politician, being patriotic implies a deep understanding of British culture, values and national interest, and the willingness and ability to stick up for those values. Farage demonstrated a total misinterpretation of British culture and history and the values on which that culture is based.
What a couple of ding-dongs! The debates, I mean, not those taking part. LBC and the BBC allowed our two heroes to square up to each other over the course of a brace of battles. Who came out the winner?
Nigel Farage won his second television debate with Nick Clegg by an even larger margin than last week. Fully 68% said the UKIP leader ‘performed better overall’, up from 57% after the first debate, while Clegg’s rating slipped from 36% to 27%...
"If it is good enough for Iceland to do it," Nigel Farage remarked in the first of his two televised debates with Nick Clegg, "I'm damned certain the British with 64million can do even better." The Ukip leader was referring to a free trade agreement that the Icelandic government signed with China in April 2013, despite the tiny Nordic country not being a member of the EU.
Moments before Nigel Farage and Nick Clegg took to the stage for their second debate on Europe, the Ukip leader made a controversial comment stating that it was "more than likely" that it was not Assad but the rebels who had used chemical gas in Syria. Surely this was an open-goal for the Deputy Prime Minister to win the debate hands down? It wasn't. Farage triumphed instead.
I switched on the radio on last Wednesday evening to hear men shouting over the top of each other. A new "Mens' Hour"? A replay of Tuesday's football? No, it was the monotone sound of our supposed democracy in action...