Do you want my alternative, semi-serious take on the Nick vs Nigel clash over Europe, Ed Miliband's 'weirdness' and Kermit the Frog's opposition to Scottish independence? Here's the political week in 60 seconds.
With politicians having precisely nothing to do but prepare for an election, Nick Clegg, the future former Deputy Prime Minister, and Nigel Farage, the UK's biggest insignificance, debated the EU on Wednesday night...
As we draw closer to the European elections on 22 May, more and more business leaders are speaking out in favour of Britain's membership of the European Union. Not a day seems to go by without another major employer warning of the risks for Britain's jobs and economy of a potential EU exit.
The best thing to come out of the debate tonight for Clegg would be to not sound like the wet fish he normally does. And if he asks the questions that Mehdi Hasan has suggested, he may as well just give up now.
The deputy prime minister may be the underdog going into his live clash with the Ukip leader on the European Union, but he has proved himself handy at TV debates. Farage, on the other hand, claims not have prepared for these bouts - and is pretty poor when it comes to dealing with the detail.
Does anyone else wonder how on earth UKIP's agenda has so powerfully contaminated mainstream political conversation?...
The only Ukip person apart from Farage you probably recognise is Neil Hamilton, who is the deputy chairman. Neil Hamilton says that Ukip need to get rid of their embarrassing candidates. This is the man who resigned over 'cash for questions', lost the fourth safest seat in the country and is married to Christine Hamilton. Timmy Mallett dressed in a bikini doing an advert for Lynx would be less embarrassing than him.
If we are to successfully push back the current wave of racism, we will need an unrelenting campaign in the student movement in defence of our multicultural society against those who wish to divide us.
Do you want my alternative take on the reaction to Bob Crow's death; David Cameron's visit to Israel and meeting with Tony Blair; and the explosive allegations against Ukip leader Nigel Farage? Here's the political week in 60 seconds.
The world is often a troubled place, and sometimes world leaders need to not just be strong, but also look strong to inspire confidence. At least that must be the rationale David Cameron was using, otherwise he's simply a vain lunatic with the presence of mind of a sloshed uncle at a wedding...
If Mr Miliband becomes the Prime Minister he says, in contrast to Mr Cameron, his administration will not seek to spend its first two years seeking to renegotiate Britain's relationship with Europe and then submitting the outcome of any such renegotiation to a defining referendum in 2017.
It is always dangerous to draw direct political parallels of course and Karl Marx himself recognised this when he said that history does indeed repeat itself; the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce. This time maybe we have to say that history is again repeating itself; this time as Farage.
One of the bugbears of being a politician is the risk that a controversy might erupt at any time about things that have little or no direct connection with their day-to-day work. Recently David Cameron has been criticised for surrounding himself with alumni of his own school, Eton, who (so the charge runs) cannot understand the day-to-day lives of normal people. Other stories down the years have concerned politicians' finances, sexual affairs, family connections and youthful indiscretions. What really irritates voters? YouGov set out to find out in a survey...
The threat UKIP poses to a Conservative victory in 2015 is widely recognised, less so the damage it could cause Labour. If recent revelations regarding UKIP's electoral strategy are to be taken seriously, the threat to Labour could be equally as potent.
Do you want my alternative take on the ongoing crisis in Ukraine; David Cameron on the phone; Nick Clegg vs Nigel Farage; and the selfie that broke Twitter? Would you like to see me attempt some Putin-esque chin-ups on camera, despite being totally unfit? Here's the political week in 60 seconds.
In the history of political slogans, there cannot be another more contradictory than UKIP's catchy new phrase, purloined with extraordinary naivety from the British National Party. 'Love Britain, Vote UKIP.'