Brits don't really want to be branded. A favourite pastime might be moaning about the state of our country, but woe betide any other nationality finding fault with our home state. We have the best of everything, and sometimes the worst (I'm thinking mainly about the weather, although you can take your pick from the economy, our teeth and all manner of other stereotypical issues) but it is ours, which counts for a lot. The past week has showcased that in all its glory.
What I'm proposing is a spectacle of brutal combat that pits creative types against each other for the entertainment of a baying global audience and the profit of greed-crazed corporate sponsors. Think of it as The Hunger Games with the difference that what these contestants are hungry for is blueberry muffins, skinny lattes, new Apple products and high-end gift baskets.
This summer all eyes will be on London as it hosts the world's biggest sporting event. So far media debate has focused on whether the government is prepared in terms of transport and security but there is another vital element of infrastructure that is not being considered: the risk to residents and businesses of large scale flooding.