The sad thing is I don't even feel confident anymore going to friends' houses with the two of them. I can't sit down and leave them to wander and I can't follow them both when they go in different directions. Most friends don't need stairgates anymore or don't have to worry about things like hot drinks being grabbed or breakables being within reach.
One of my favorite parts of being a life and wellness coach is the great privilege I have of showing our younger generations how incredibly powerful they are. My definition of a powerful or empowered child, is one that can use their mind to create harmony, happiness and success in their lives, whatever that may mean for them.
I don't disagree with my husband that there probably is within us a subconscious, animalistic desire to procreate. I think there is much more to it than that, and only after having a baby myself and going through that first tumultuous year of parenthood can I understand the real driving force behind why we choose to have children.
If asked, many so-called 'mumpreneurs' will admit the initial transition to self-employment was not as a result of a positive choice, but as a frustrated response to inhospitable workplace cultures, the rising cost of childcare, inflexible work schedules, poor quality part-time jobs, and discriminatory attitudes
It's a lot of things to miss about being with M all the time, and I guess it's a kind of grief that I'm experiencing. Mourning my maternity leave. But then, I'm so very grateful, that I have those things to miss. That I have been blessed with the opportunity to be a mummy, and to spend 9 blissful months with my girl.
I may be so much more conscious of this issue as a single parent, who is self-employed, runs a charity and has raised two kids 'single handedly'. My girls roll their eyes and mime at this line as it is much used, mainly in an aim to get people to see that if I can do it....anyone can, seriously, anyone can do this.
I had gotten to the point where the only days I enjoyed, were the days my children were at nursery. On those days, I'd feel a prickle of dread about having to go and collect them at the end of the day. I'd scramble around on the other days in between, desperately trying to get my mum, my brother, my dad, anyone, to come over, so that I didn't have to be alone with them.
So why the hell does everyone care so much about the choices this woman (who I would like to place my fave maternity bra on that none of them actually know or have met) makes? Why do we feel the need to sling mud, to debate over whether she is a bad mum scarring her child forever, that she is not a fit parent, that she is disgusting and crossing the line from nurturing into the perverse?
When I was waiting for my miracle baby, I was desperate to be a mUmmy. It was a real biological need to have a child. My friends had already started their families and being with their children and my nieces and nephews cemented my belief that I would enjoy being a mummy, but I had no idea that I'd love it this much!
There's a moment in every woman's life where she realises that she's turning into her mother. Mine happened when I became a mum. I'm sure the baton was passed to me during childbirth while I was pumped up to the clouds on opiates. It may explain why I swore to the midwife when she refused me an epidural for the umpteenth time because it was "too late".
I'm not saying that everyone should give up their tan, if it's fake, safe and makes you happy then by all means, carry on. The same could be said about things like make-up and hair colour, as long as we explain to our young ones that it's all about creativity and having fun rather than it being a necessity to look good in society, why not. But as influencers to younger people I do feel we should be conscious of our actions.
Parents do not get enough credit for having children. Becoming a parent is the hardest job in the world, however companies and employers do not appreciate the skills parents have gained. Especially woman returning from maternity leave or from being a Stay-at-Home Mum - they are considered a done and dusted vegetable head.