Seven League titles, seven FA Cups, five League Cups and a European Cup... Given the current state of Aston Villa Football Club - and perhaps if she truly understood what irony is - Alanis Morissette might have written a song about us.
If Leicester win the Premier League this season - and it looks as though they will - it'll be because they've been the best team in almost every single aspect of the game, and they've adapted to each situation that's been thrown at them like a bunch of freaky human-chameleon hybrids.
Conte is a man who gets to the point. When his squad under-performs, they know about it afterwards. It is an approach that can alienate as much as it can motivate.
If the Champions League it is to remain the pinnacle of European football it must find room for the likes of Leicester City and give the giants of the game a bloody nose from time to time by expelling them to the eternal darkness of Thursday night football.
So many of the Premier League's most best and most entertaining players this season are still aged just 22 or younger. As we bid farewell to a number of old timers, it makes it an incredibly exciting time for the future to begin.
No wins in November. One win in January, before a run of four games without tasting triumph. The team have been shooting themselves in the foot for so long that any slip-up really does look like it rips the heart out of the side. It just screams 'here we go again'. How can anyone believe Arsenal can win the Premier League if they don't seem to truly believe it themselves?
Chelsea's disastrous defence of the Premier League title and their sacking of Jose Mourinho is one of the stories of the season. It's been a crazy old year so far. Here, we're set to analyse the chances of six candidates as the race for the throne hots up...
With all of this conducted by Mauricio Pochettino's rising star it's easy to dream of the title, to get swept away with the all the plaudits and wild predictions about how far this team can go - 'And they're only young' is often uttered at the end of such discussions. But the little bit of pessimism that still lurks in the back of my mind is only concerned about finishing in the top four...
From here, Leicester's path to the title is tricky. They've got a decent run of fixtures to get themselves back on track, but what could have been a massive lead in the league has been reduced to a single kick - with the pair of north London clubs playing hound and horse to Ranieri's Foxes.
City have huge potential, there can be no doubt about that, but Guardiola is not walking into a club that is already set up to dominate. Quite simply, he has an awful lot of work to do to reach the level at which expectations have been set.
Drinkwater, any of his team-mates will tell you, is a consummate professional and he's moulded his strengths into becoming an uber-reliable defensive shield who has kept Gokhan Inler, a man who has made 89 appearances for Switzerland and won two Coppa Italias with Napoli, out of the team.
Pochettino is at the right stage of his career, at the right club, with the right squad to make a history-making difference. He could be the next man at Chelsea, the man in the shadow at United, or THE man at Tottenham Hotspur. It doesn't even seem worth consideration.
There will be a void of character and admiration at Stamford Bridge this summer. The most successful captain in Chelsea's history will leave the club and affectively close an incredible chapter in the club's history.
Why shouldn't we dream? We are in this title race, and as of now, we're in pole position. This side is brimming with quality and the unthinkable may occur after all. Regardless of whether this title challenge comes to fruition, my boyhood club, who I have seen at the lowest ebb in their history have become the globe's most exciting team and ooh-ya fighter, I am loving it.
Hopefully the #holditin Campaign will gather pace, and make the decision makers at football clubs realise that with the introduction of Changing Places, more fans can access the Matchday Experiance, which provides a great Business model for a stable future.
While Teixeira may solve a particular problem, is he that much better than Firmino, who scored his fair share of goals in a tougher league than Ukraine's and finally appears to have turned a corner after a transitional six months on Merseyside? £38million is an excessive amount to spend on only a slight upgrade - £50million is careless.