The thing that makes me sad is the despair and fear I see in my own eyes and body language. Sometimes I think I look exactly like what I am: a 35 year old woman who did not survive an abusive relationship. The thought of being found sexually attractive fills me with horror and the sheer terror that I might be set up to be knocked down again.
This week's sales numbers showed a slight increase in retail sales and did well to improve on the 2.1% increase made in May. Notes and noises from the retail sector have been encouraging of late. Data from the British Retail Consortium has begun to shown an increase in sales volumes, whilst consumer confidence has moved to the highest level since October 2010.
A few days back, I published a piece right here titled: What's in a Word, and Who is the Addict? I really only dealt with the first part of the question: semantic pros and cons pertaining to word usage. This time, I wish the address the second question - a far more difficult question than the first.
A wedding can be many things depending on whereabouts you are on the sliding scale of alcohol abuse-to-alcoholism. If you're abusing it to the point people haven't really picked up on yet, then it's a great excuse to drink in a dysfunctional way with people who don't have alcohol problems... If you're at the stage where you suspect you have a problem and everyone around you shares that suspicion, then its stressful.
Monday saw the highest reading for the UK manufacturing PMI in two years, and it was the 3rd consecutive time that the sector had beat analyst's expectations. The crucial new orders component that tends to suggest whether demand will be continual, as opposed to stop/start, also rose to the highest level since February 2011.
So I use the term 'addict' to describe a certain type of person. Many object to this designation. For one, there is stigma attached to it. Practically everyone you know has been carried away at some point by some poison - exercise, love, sex, gambling, tobacco, coffee, food, booze, dope, work - some object that everyone is (or has been) an addict. Hence, according to some, the label is meaningless.
You don't need to have suffered from addictive illness (although it undoubtedly helps) to understand that abstinence-based recovery is the only method that really works - in the sense of bringing the individual completely face-to-face with the underlying psychological problems that cause him or her to use drugs and alcohol in the first place. Nor do you need to be an addict (although, once again, in indisputably helps), to know that the current Kafkaesque condition of our prisons is a direct result of addiction treatments that are really nothing of the sort.
Gold offers no yield. There is no reward for holding it other than the smug feeling that you are protected from any potential economic Armageddon that's on the horizon. If you believe that's on the cards, then go right ahead and back up the truck and load up on the yellow metal until you're heart's content. Otherwise, you're best to leave it well alone.
When I told people I was going to go around the country and talk to dozens of people about their depression, the common response was "Oh, that sounds really depressing." But it was actually the opposite. The remarkable courage and creativity that people - dealing with depression and striving to get better - demonstrated, showed me the human spirit at its best.
Nobody likes a pretty-girl drunk. That's a deal-breaker right here. A pretty-girl who is a little bit tipsy? Cute. A pretty-girl a little unsteady on her feet? A bit giggly? Charming. But a pretty-girl who is a messy, sloppy, belligerent drunk receives twice the vitriol reserved for even the most unsavoury of drunken characters. It offends us, seeing this pretty girl displaying her internal ugliness for all to see. It's like taking a shop window display and covering it in garbage. Nobody wants to see that. Keep your window displays clean and bright.
Only two people have ever told me it is possible to recover completely from an eating disorder: the psychotherapist who I did an internship with last year (who had, herself, 'recovered') and my boyfriend. Before I met these two people, I was firmly of the view that 'recovery' meant learning to cope with the illness in everyday life.
This morning I received a call from my friend in Australia letting me know that one of our friends had taken his life over the weekend. I have suffered grief and loss before and today I did not know what to do - go to work and carry on? Stay at home and take it easy? I went to work and whilst there I listened to every early 80s tune that reminded me of my friend who I now will never see again.