Ever since I developed an eating disorder I have been haunted by the start of term or Lent or any of these times as opportunities to start a new leaf and remove from lifestyle any unhealthy bingeing that had been dominating life. Yes, the anorexia was utilising this as an opportunity to persevere into dangerous territory.
What is it you really want to do? Push away any thought that has anything to do with what someone else needs, wants or expects from you and look only at your desire. Just allow yourself that, at least. Shove away the 'shoulds', and most of all ignore the fear. Just look at what you really want and enjoy how delicious it feels to immerse yourself in it.
The worst thing is the backsliding. It happens, and you just have to accept it. This is apparently one of the things that hits a lot of people the hardest: you're chugging along doing fine, and then it kicks you in the guts, as visceral as it is emotional. It's a cruel intrusion into your belief that you were doing well, and stirs up all kind of worries...
The numbers that proclaim recovery are of course GDP: that profoundly irrational statistic that sees more growth in disaster relief than disaster prevention, that grows with war and floods but never measures educational attainment or physical health. With a data point that skewed, it's no wonder our current bad news is trumpeted as good news.