I was forced to use dating apps like Grindr to find a place to stay. I was meeting up with complete strangers every night. You can find yourself in really scary situations, in which people try to take advantage of you. I tried to protect myself by arranging to meet in a public place first of all, to make sure it wasn't a hoax.
I was lucky and never had any of the frightening effects spice can have, but I saw others who used it have 'spice attacks'. It's like they were having heart attacks, not knowing where they were, collapsing. Men would smoke half a gram in one go. They'd wander out of the cell, and the next thing they'd be on the floor or in health care. A lot would call for their mums.
I need to both understand the impossibility and inevitability of the world of determinism, and yet attempt to widen the constraints by a pure belief in free agency. If I were to fully accept that the dye is cast, my job, and that of any other professional working in reforming or rehabilitating people, would be pointless.
I often here myself saying that I have one of the best jobs in the world. I work part time for the Jamie Oliver Food Foundation and the rest of my time is spent running the UK San Patrignano Association. I get to meet some pretty amazing people and travel to wonderful locations spreading Jamie's message about good food and how it can bring people together.
I became a personal trainer after a long journey struggling with low self-esteem and poor body image fuelled a frustration to drink until I blacked out most evenings. The entertainment industry seems to excuse this behaviour; in fact it thrives on the myth of rock n roll excess, the wilder the better.
Gazza is unlikely to make it this time. Gazza is very near death right now. The very end of end-stage alcoholism. Soon. Very soon. Sadly. And when he does? We will still all be shocked. Because it makes us all a bit vulnerable doesn't it? When someone so strong, with such professional brilliance disintegrates right in front of us.
I can tell you here and now that I think it is a huge mistake to legalise cannabis use because I have seen and witnessed first hand how smoking cannabis at a young age can ruin a persons life. Instead of saying to our young that it is acceptable to smoke cannabis we need to educate them to make better choices and to inform them of the dangers of taking drugs.
I just read a story written by Richard Branson that he wants to relax the laws on smoking marijuana and I am worried that if this happens then more young people like I did will think that it is ok to smoke a joint. The thought that my little brother back home could buy marijuana easily just like buying chewing gum makes me very worried.