Clarkson's exit probably signals a moment to end the show. It's been going on long enough. The programme should go out in top gear; crash over a cliff. It should die a cowboy's death: in a hail of bullets with its boots on rather than limping on for years, sliding down the ratings until it's cancelled for lack of interest.
Just what sort of 'miracles' exactly? And what on Earth could they possibly have to do with 'The Hamster'? At least I hope that's what you're thinking. Because otherwise I've wasted the last 12 months of my life searching out unusual science stories from around the globe and turning them into three one-hour documentaries for BBC1 that absolutely nobody's going to watch.
Instead of hiring a talented American team to dream up a new motoring show inspired by the irreverence, fun and - well, yes - stupidity of the Top Gear we know and love, they plumped for a feeble facsimile. It could have been great. Instead, it's exactly the same, but delivered by three men who don't seem to get it, for an audience which seems similarly confused.