I would love to be able to write how joyous I am that Christmas is around the corner but I'd be lying. I feel like I'm falling down the rabbit hole. I had this depression exactly at this time of year last year (after a gap of seven years). I think my mind is recalling what happened a year ago which triggered me into a mental whirlwind of despair...
The research into Alzheimer's and dementia is one of the most prevalent problems of this decade and these are brain diseases so why should depression or bi-polar be any different? If the government don't put funds for mental health in this budget at the end of November, it won't happen for a long time and the suffering and lack of help will continue.
I wish this were my life, being fed by beautiful men, in the presence of great minds discussing new and better ways to live and hopefully change the world. I had these type of discussions when I was 18 when I was hopeful and then never again but here's the spark and hopefully some day all this might come to fruition and I can say I was there.
Could we please wake up. It's 2015 for God's sake. It's time to spend some money on why people aren't mentally healthy to come up with solutions to alleviate the suffering. When I perform my show, Sane New World, I invite the audience to have a discussion or ask questions. Three times I've had people stand up and say that they've had cancer and mental illness and when I ask which is worse to them they've all said the depression. One man told me and the audience that with cancer he wanted to live, with depression he wanted to die.
My impression was that New Zealand is a virgin, not yet corrupted by greed and ruthless competition. People here are sweet, not aggressive. Even the birds are friendly. There have never been any predators so even the robins come up and stare at you with absolutely no fear; practically feeding you crumbs
The last night they burned the 80 foot wooden Man. It began with a firework display that kicked the ass of anything I've ever seen or heard about. The sky was filled with lattices of electric sparks that went on for hours and then the effigy of the Man exploded to the crowd's howling while fire dancers went primitive.
So much to choose from - the fruit, donuts and balls sex exhibition party, naked pub crawls, kundalini cooking classes, the orgasmatron experience, slut Olympics, booty shines, workshops on how to turn your panties into a face mask, male stripping, spanking at Spankies and - my favorite - the strap-a-thon in Beavertown for women and transgender people only.
No one can help you except you and only you. The big yawn about this is, as with any other skill, you have to practice doing it in order to break the old habits. It's the only way you'll be able to get off cruise control and start to notice the scenery, smell the roses, taste the chocolate and hear the cry of a she-wolf.
Each generation thinks their parents have screwed up the world. The teen's job is to clean up his parent's mistakes and blame them for being selfish, greedy bastards who just think about themselves and are to blame for the world being a mess, the ice cap melting and the fact that there are no jobs or money because we've spent it all. (On these points they're right on all fronts).
Mental health campaigner and OBE recipient Ruby Wax recently told The Times: "When people say, 'Should you tell them at work?', I say: 'Are you crazy?' You have to lie. If you have someone who is physically ill, they can't fire you. They can't fire you for mental health problems but they'll say it's for another reason. Just say you have emphysema."
If you went down a manhole and sat there in the dark, what's swarming around up there in your brain sums up whom you really are. I'm not saying don't think about redecorating your house but in the big scheme of things the rehaul won't make your experience of the world any different, even in a new chair.