When I ask my friends who they follow on Instagram, it's usually a range of their mates, Victoria's Secret models and wellness bloggers. I have found myself gazing at 'real life pictures' where they're larking about, or perfect pictures of them 'chilling on the beach.' You start to wonder why you don't look like that when you're chilling. You start to wonder why you're not on the beach. Let me tell you, there is a reason there are only 15 Victoria's Secret models. That's because there are only 15 women in the world who look like that.
He wasn't a bad person in any way, he was just a normal teenage boy. He ended up cheating on me and the way he spoke to me and treated me was disrespectful. I remember hating who I was, crying all of the time and wishing I was thinner, prettier and better than I was. I felt unworthy of love and blamed myself for his cheating.
I used to dread going to parties - and when I did, I was terrified. I worried that people would laugh at me for being unpopular, a bad dancer, too quiet, too loud (you name it). I used to watch the different cliques; the sporty ones, the cool ones, the musical ones ... wondering when was I ever going to just fit in.
The problem is not that we appreciate beauty but that the definition of beauty is so narrow, too narrow to include afro textured hair, so while society is waking up to the damaging effects of its narrow definition of beauty, advocating for body acceptance, even skin colour acceptance, hair discrimination still goes largely unopposed.
If all we do is drain our flames with the concerns of everyone else, then all that is left are some ashy embers and jagged coals. Anger and resentment enjoy these conditions, and we can't love others with such feelings. We just want to run, escape, blame and punish, often passive-aggressively, because we begrudge everything.
Statistics show that 43% of people in the UK break their resolutions within the first month and by the end of March that figure has risen to a whopping 80%. In fact we are so good at giving up, that there is now an official day dedicated to our downfall - 17th January is 'Ditch New Year's Resolutions Day'.
My tenth confession is a complete embracing of all my imperfections: I'm an idealistic yet pessimistic romantic. I'm a health conscious periodic binge eater. I think I'm so good but I'm super self critical. I'm sweet but I'm angry. I am a bundle of contradictions but again, I challenge anyone to say they are anything other.