Let's go back to the beginning and start with Madonna and me. Against what some people think is the gay 'stereotype', I'm not really one of her fans. However, my actions after watching her arrival on the red carpet and then performance, I played true to stereotype and took to social media to comment on her appearance.
What I have done is sex. Even as a female comedian. Against all odds. It's a miracle. I haven't had sex with enough people to call it academic research (unfortunately), but just about enough for a theory to emerge from my funny little brain.
"My boyfriend bought me a vegetarian cookbook for Christmas...even though I'm not one," she laughed. Our eyes met and we smiled. Funny, but if a man I was hopeful about gave me a vegetarian cookbook for Christmas, knowing that I'm not one, I think I would run faster than you could say "Jack Rabbit".
I am very aware that I am lucky to be gay in the UK now, and we are so lucky that spaces such as gay clubs exist, however the sexual systems within which we move in these spaces are problematic for someone like me: here, I feel as though I don't sexually belong.
During the Christmas period, the number of sexually suggestive perfume advertisements doubles in number. Such famous examples are Jean Paul Gaultier whose naked vixen wakes up alone after a night with a sailor suggests that sex with an unknown companion is perfectly acceptable. At least over 75% of perfume adverts give that same message to young people.
We all should know every Muslim is not a potential terrorist. Every Catholic priest is not necessarily a paedophile anymore than every blonde woman in a short skirt is a dumb bimbo. Every person who wears spectacles isn't an intellectual either despite the beliefs of Pol pot and the Khmer rouge that perpetuated stereotyping a la social engineering.
However uncomfortable we may be with the continued existence of prostitution, it is far more unsettling to imagine some of the city's most vulnerable women forced onto the streets, due to the misplaced objectives of a city council which believes that it is capable of eradicating an industry as old as Jesus Christ.
Ultimately the biggest problem with invoking that word is that it allows the media and us to pop her up onto the pedestal entitled "Woman Describing the Modern Female Experience" then return to our regular lives. We don't have to listen to other women with alternative experiences because, look, we've already got that one over there and see how much we idolise her?
Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is the best thing to happen to me and my intimacy. There, I said it. Actually, I say it a lot. On radio, TV, print, online and occasionally gatherings (it's a great way to quiet a room down if things get rowdy).
If the government is really committed to giving teens the SRE that they deserve, then it should recognise that this aspect of sex and relationships - the pleasurable part - is just as important as the potential dangers. There is nothing wrong with young people wanting to watch porn, wanting to sext, and wanting to have sex.
A faltering sex life, tensions over finances, and different goals in life, tend to be the biggest causes for conflicts with a spouse, but in most cases no one willingly wants to end their marriage, they simply want something extra for themselves, without causing hurt to anyone else.
Ryanair, that of the cheap flights, zero legroom and zero tolerance of fat people, is the world's most hated airline. Popularly seen as the villain of the skies, Ryanair has been pissing people off for the last twenty plus years: with all its hidden levies, taxes and charges, Europe's ''only ultra-low cost carrier'' isn't actually selling low cost flights.
The withdrawal of attention can be used as a form of relationship control by women as well as men. Being distant can be used as a way of testing emotional interest, but also as a way to manipulate controlling power and become the dominate partner.
Did you know that the skin is the largest organ of the human body? Maybe not but we all know that the food we eat impacts on our well being, our energy levels, our immune system and so on but not all of us give consideration that what we eat has a huge impact on our facial complexion.
For many, this is the first official working week of the year. Which sucks. Perhaps you've already been back at work for a week or more? Sucked in. Maybe you're one of those rare people who adore their job, and have been counting down the days until you can get back to work as if it's Christmas. You freak.
On Monday evening at 10pm, Channel 4 aired the documentary Secrets of Living Dolls... On the night it was aired people took to their Twitter accounts and Facebook status' to tell their friends that what these men were doing, well it simply isn't right! But...is it not?