Back in the days when Londoners started to look more presentable - a dozen years ago, maybe? - I used to loved writing stories on high-speed grooming that involved, say, having a blow-dry, a manicure and a pedicure all at the same time and within half an hour. It was a bit like going through a beauty-car-wash, but heck, it was effective, swift and looks-enhancing.
The Christmas festivities are finally over and you have been left with an unwanted gift. Yes, you guessed it: a few extra pounds and you can't even take them back to the store to get a refund or credit note. But that's no problem is it? Just start on one of those trendy celebrity-endorsed diets that guarantee a slender body in no time at all.
The truth is, even with the best of genes, to maintain a body like Gwyneth Paltrow's you have to work very hard. Especially as you get older. Indeed, Ms Paltrow was quoted last year as saying "Everything in my life that's good is because I worked my ass off to get it and to maintain it." This is not a woman who just coasts through life.
Goodbye January. Perhaps the over-enthusiastic gym newbies can calm down now? Every year I observe with a wry smile - but more often frustration - as my local health club is packed to the rafters with sweating 'January gym-maniacs'. But why the frenzy at all? Going hell for leather, be it on treadmills or in spin classes etc, is never a good idea.
There's one very well known American trainer, whose client list resembles the Hollywood Walk of Fame, whose 30 day master plan involves lots of kale juice, protein bars and not much else. I mean, come on. I can get you thin on a diet of dust and water too. Your immune system might not thank you for it but hey, at least you'll be thin.
Looking good naked isn't about staying imprisoned in a body which you're not happy with - it's about turning mantras like "Because you're worth it" into truly positive actions. And I believe you can only do that by developing a healthy relationship with food and calling a reluctant truce with exercise.