Since the start of the new millennium our exposure to chiselled arms, shaved chests and sculpted six-packs has been impossible to avoid, as marketing executives the world over latched on to this aesthetic ideal to promote products and sell services.
The problem with almost all of these features are their expectations of us as human beings. They're hopelessly unrealistic. I, for example, do not want my family to know where I am all the time. For starters there's the basic issue of privacy, and, secondly, if they did know they'd probably start wondering why I don't have a drinking problem.
We've all got a friend who has finally found the perfect job, perfect partner or perfect home. Well if it's that fricking perfect then damn well enjoy it love, don't go banging on about it on social media. The more you boast, the less I believe you. You're the ultimate Facebook Phony.
Huberta was a hippo, thought to have been born in 1928 on South Africa's Zululand coast. She made the news because, unlike other hippos, she liked to wander. By her journey's end, she had traveled well over a thousand miles. The media of the day reported her progress - she was a celebrity in her own right. When Huberta was shot dead, it caused an outcry.
The stuff I don't post on social media are the things that keep me up at night. The discussions I've had with Dad about Mum's health. Worries about whether Mum will make it up the stairs tonight. How exasperated I feel that my family seem to have stopped leaving the house.
It is believed that, by having a 'delete' button, under 18s will have the opportunity to redeem their reputation: for example, by removing embarrassing content that could potentially ruin their future career or negatively impact a school place.
Whatever happened to acceptance and tolerance? Why is personal greed and hatred so publically rampant? It's true that hate, greed and intolerance has run through history like a vein but at the moment it feels like it's an open season for attacking others and that greed, selfishness and spite is very much 'on trend'.
To take these away is to take away connections and community. And when you take away that, you silence individual beings, you make them fade and you tell them - just as they're finding places they can thrive - they are not important.
Travel for the sake of tick boxes not only undermines even the most basic reasons for travelling, but distills whole nations into one landmark, one ruin, one temple. A country is more than the sum of its famous places. And you can circumnavigate without ever leaving the Southern Ocean, thus never seeing or steeping foot in any country at all.
Here's a question. Three months ago, had you heard of Cecil the Lion? I certainly hadn't, and I doubt that many, outside of the Oxford-based group that studied him, would have been able to pick him out of a watering-hole police line-up. The digital news revolution is characterised by this sort of story.
Social media can be great for many things, for awkward throwback pictures, for tweeting Katie Hopkins, for sharing vines with your friends, but it should not be for showing off. We have to be sensitive to other people's academic experience. So lets get back to using social media for better things, yeah?
It's not that I am embarrassed of these snaps - and quite frankly I did nothing of particular interest when I was knocking around in my teens - but there's something very intimate about my early FB years. They are self portraits capturing a time that I was still trying to figure myself out.
Admittedly, it's quite difficult to generate a massive amount of sympathy for Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer. In case you've forgotten, he managed to...
Every time we find ourselves compulsively checking the media, we are exposing ourselves to more and more information. Feeling like we 'need to know' what is going on around us can become an addiction and distract us when we feel bored, restless, or anxious.
So. You've had a baby. And it is now yours and your-multi-human-producing-vagina's god given right to social media the living shit out of your parenting journey. As smugly as possible. And here's my guide on how to do it.
People who are actively engaged in social media - and young people in particular - are constantly aware of their audience and their role as entertainers. Images leave much unsaid and open to interpretation, so their meaning and intention can be defended in line with audience feedback and the threat of social shame.