Over the years I have met with thousands of bereaved parents who never cease to shock me with their tales of horror and lack of support following the devastation that is the loss of a baby. In some trusts, stillborn babies are still being delivered in delivery suites to the sounds of babies crying, excited visitors arriving with bunches of flowers and congratulation balloons.
I am mother to Bethany and Courtney 16, Megan 12, Grace 9, Connie 6 and Archie who was stillborn in 2009. I was 35 weeks pregnant and I suffered a concealed abruption, which meant that I bled internally. I was rushed down for a caesarean and when I came round they said that he'd not made it - he'd passed away.
How many children do I have? Zero? But that's not the full truth. And denying her existence would not be fair to her memory. We do not live in the yesteryear where such events were kept hidden and the parents were expected to forget immediately. But how do I keep her memory alive without dragging others down with sadness?