Like the bizarre taste of synthetic strawberry and spermicide tingling on the nation's tongue, Britain will soon wake up to the fact that allowing people like Rylan Clark to enter the mainstream consciousness is a terrible idea.

This video has been causing a bit of a buzz in Thailand. In it, a female contestant on Thailand's Got Talent comes out onto the stage, starts painting on a blank canvas, takes off her shirt and bra, pours paint on herself, and then proceeds to go to work on the canvas with her bare chest.

It was expected to challenge the dominance of X Factor and sold itself as being a talent show for real voices. Not a show obsessed with the appearance of its contestants or a show which laughed at its singers.

In television terms MasterChef is venerable. It was born in 1990, when it was shown on Sunday evenings. Contestants would mash, grind and dice their ingredients. The host was Loyd Grossman. He would mash, grind and dice his vowels. Loyd left to make tomato sauce. But MasterChef flourished.

I believe Frankie was fed to the lions way before his drug downfall, and I by no means condone taking drugs, but Cocozza isn't an addict and this probably won't be the last time he experiments on a night out.