As early as midway through the first episode we gain an appreciation of whom we are going to collectively despise. It is normally the irritating cretin who takes it upon him/herself to come up with a team name such as 'oblivion' or 'evolve.' Why they feel compelled to come up with such lame post-apocalyptic names is beyond me.
I half-watched The Apprentice last night while going through the email backlog - both experiences made slightly more bearable by the other. But my attention was suddenly caught by a Maths Problem.
With a new series of Dragons' Den and The Apprentice lined up, the concept of the business reality show is still going strong but are these shows having a positive effect on business management and leadership within the workplace?
Within this campaign Heineken have not only produced a quality piece of video marketing. The crowd source element has involved their social media channels lobbying for input in choosing "The Candidate" encouraging sharing and engagement and improving the virility of the piece.
It's hard to be objective, my personal aversion to meetings is an almost visceral rage, but I fear they may even be destroying our productivity. The powerplay of meetings is depressing, the mangle of overt and covert agendas. People taking turns to speak, then zoning out when it isn't their turn.
It's been two or three weeks since The Apprentice finished and I'm not afraid to admit, I'm becoming a little twitchy.
For seven years now I have been lying to those closest to me. I tell my children every day that you must always tell the truth yet as I sit at the dinner table with them I am engaged in an elaborate cover up. The time has come to own up to them; I DON'T LIKE BROCCOLI.
Multi-millionaire entrepreneur Peter Jones tells Liz Lightfoot how he wants to boost business with new-style apprenticeships.
Greater investment, additional numbers and extra support signal a new era for apprenticeships. But crucial to its success is ensuring employers offer quality programmes.
Apparently asking your manager if they have a strategy is a fireable offence, while being a complete chaotic mess is heartily encouraged. That's the message we took away from Wednesday's episode of the Apprentice, anyway.
In previous series of the Apprentice at least one of the weekly tasks was carried out in a foreign country. However, with the recession biting - and the Eurostar costing marginally more than East Coast Trains - the Beeb decided to move the potential for an international incident closer to home this time around. To Edinburgh, in fact.
Thus with declining ratings for The Apprentice, and an ever fading authority on his subject matter, perhaps it's high time that m'Lord quit whilst he's still ahead, since perhaps it'll be him who'll be "finished, gone, kaput" by next Christmas.
As tasks go, forcing this group of self-styled 'business brains' to come up with gym session ideas was a bit unfair. After all, these are people who can barely cope with flogging ironic vintage tat to hipsters, which as challenges go is approximately 110% easier than convincing a dog to eat a Winalot sandwich.
What have Del Boy and the Apprentice candidates got in common? Well, nothing, as it happens: because whereas Del Boy could have made a fortune selling broken tat to idiots, his Apprentice counterparts couldn't sell half price cracked ice and miles and miles of carpet tiles if their lives (or rather careers) depended on it.
Where would we be without table sauce? We've been using it for thousands of years: the Romans even made one from pickled, rotten fish guts that makes Marmite look positively palatable in comparison.
This week, the Apprentice candidates had to design a 'useful' household product then pitch it to well known retailers Lakeland and Amazon. It sounds so simple, doesn't it? But bear in mind that these are people who couldn't find their rear ends with both hands, a sat nav and a detailed guide to human anatomy.