Ah! This feels good, sun, heat, light, everyone's happy, but wait - something feels wrong, painful, oh no - it's upper thigh chub rub, f**k. The bitch is back to ruin my summer fun just because I don't have Alexa like thighs, I am set to suffer this disease a la chubby yet again.
So last week I pulled a big lever that deactivated my personal Facebook account. I took the red pill and unplugged myself from the matrix. Sure I'm going to miss staring vacantly at my news feed eight hours a day as amusing pictures of cats and unamusing pictures of peoples babies hone into view.