Surely, a woman is at her most beautiful when pregnant? A sexual being bearing fruit, oozing fertility. There is nothing in my mind more intensely sensual, provocative, or potent. Then again, maybe it's the hormones, and I was in a pregnant bubble of delusion.
While all this emotional and physical cartography was happening externally, internally I was beset with a belly full of love flutters. There could be no mistaking the movements as gathering wind. The Interloper was growing at an almighty rate and I bludgeoned by tiredness.
Recent comments and campaigns by politicians opposed to abortion often imply that women do not know what they are doing when they request abortion and need protecting from themselves, or that what they are doing is morally wrong - and that their pregnancies need protecting from the women themselves.
I certainly find the clinic-praying distasteful and ill-judged (especially from those who claim to want to help women facing unwanted pregnancies) but it's the lies and scare tactics of these 'counselling' sessions which I find truly 'un-Christian'.
K.Y. jelly smeared my stomach; it was a rink of lubricant over which the small handheld audio scanner skated. It Torvell-ed and Dean-ed in search of my baby's heartbeat alas to no avail, null points. The volume was raised - again to no avail.
Sadly 17 babies are stillborn or die shortly after birth in the UK every DAY, which equates to 6,500 each year.
Jeremy Hunt's 12 week limit would herald an inevitable rise in teen motherhood, exacerbated, in all likelihood, by patchy delivery of sex education in Michael Gove's new free schools and academies.
In Ivory Coast, word of mouth is still the major form of communication for mums-to-be. Many issues are similar to the UK: interference from the mother-in-law seems to be universal and women tend to gossip and share horror stories. Like disease, rumours can spread fast and seem unstoppable. In Ivory Coast, their destructive path is paved by traders, women who visit villages on market day and set up stalls to buy, sell and gossip. Ivory Coast is a volatile country, having recently emerged from civil war.
Having had to keep my condition under wraps for so long I'd almost forgotten I was pregnant. Last pregnancy my bump was near invisible at five months, albeit I was 12 years younger and two dress sizes smaller. I came out at my 30th birthday party. 'Guess what?'
Some women who deny pregnancy might be much more likely than the general population to kill their newborns, sometimes through neglect, and these can be found in the lavatory, garbage disposal, or a hasty grave.
There are certain inalienable truths about parenting, I know because I've shouted them at my own parents on numerous occasions from teen to twenty som...
The Saying Goodbye organisation is a beautiful tribute to the five babies that Zoe and Andy Clark-Coates have personally suffered the loss of. And it is an organisation that the public has immediately taken to its heart.
Childbirth is not a rite of passage. We are not cave men. We have choices. Men do not have to hunt and women do not have to gather berries and breed children. Just because our bodies are built to do something, does not mean we have to pump out children and slay wildlife.
The Glam Rocker was keen to attend this scan - previous doubts having abated somewhat... still he needed to see this baby bud for real. In boy speak it was the money shot, i.e. what was the going rate for child support?
When you announce you're pregnant many people seem to have a similar reaction, "oh congrats, how wonderful, get all the sleep you can now because you'll be wrecked from sleepless nights!" But that's not all, then comes the horror birth stories.
Over lunch we discussed the concept of having a baby together. Our instincts seem to be in synch and the situation though scary, (we only met six months ago) for want of verb 'smelled' good.