Do you want my alternative, semi-serious take on round two of the Nick vs Nigel debate over Europe, Dave and Ed slagging each other off at PMQs and the prime minister's affection for Waitrose and Ocado? Here's the political week in 60 seconds.
For a British politician, being patriotic implies a deep understanding of British culture, values and national interest, and the willingness and ability to stick up for those values. Farage demonstrated a total misinterpretation of British culture and history and the values on which that culture is based.
What a couple of ding-dongs! The debates, I mean, not those taking part. LBC and the BBC allowed our two heroes to square up to each other over the course of a brace of battles. Who came out the winner?
Nigel Farage won his second television debate with Nick Clegg by an even larger margin than last week. Fully 68% said the UKIP leader ‘performed better overall’, up from 57% after the first debate, while Clegg’s rating slipped from 36% to 27%...
Moments before Nigel Farage and Nick Clegg took to the stage for their second debate on Europe, the Ukip leader made a controversial comment stating that it was "more than likely" that it was not Assad but the rebels who had used chemical gas in Syria. Surely this was an open-goal for the Deputy Prime Minister to win the debate hands down? It wasn't. Farage triumphed instead.
I switched on the radio on last Wednesday evening to hear men shouting over the top of each other. A new "Mens' Hour"? A replay of Tuesday's football? No, it was the monotone sound of our supposed democracy in action...
No one can plausibly be in favour of the rebalancing the British economy, boosting exports and supporting sustainable growth while being in favour of leaving the EU... It is inconceivable to sacrifice the success of our most successful manufacturers to satisfy knee-jerk isolationism.