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Nicholas Ferroni

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How King Henry VIII Influenced 21st Century Dating

Posted: 19/11/2012 00:00

Everyone knows him by name and by horrible song; King Henry VIII is one of the most iconic figures in all of history. As a history teacher, he is one I enjoy teaching about every year. Whether it's the fact that he married his dead older brother's wife, Catherine, or that he wanted a divorce so badly he started his own church, Henry's a trailblazer in many ways.

Additionally, here's a summary of his six wives: divorced, executed, divorced, executed, widowed. Plus, I haven't even mentioned the fact that his daughters are two of the most famous (and infamous) women in history. We all know what an extraordinary woman Elizabeth was and, be honest, who hasn't said 'Bloody Mary' in the mirror at some point?

If only there was reality TV in the day of the Tudors, I believe that they would have crushed the Kardashians in ratings. These aren't even the real reasons why Henry is one of the most unique people in history. I tell my students: Henry changed dating forever (especially 21st century dating) and in a way that no one has ever mentioned or even realised...until now.

A few weeks ago, I was out with my girlfriend and her friend when she asked me to invite a friend to keep her friend company, which is simple enough. I took out my iPhone and called my best friend. He answered, and I told him to come join us for drinks and "meet my girlfriend's pretty friend." He replied "Sounds good. Just text me a pic of her first." I refused and he didn't want to take a chance. Now, I can't blame him for wanting to see her first; so, I started to think about the origin of the act of texting a picture of a possible date. It finally hit me; it started with King Henry VIII.

After King Henry's fourth wife died, Henry was on the prowl for wife number five. This time, however, the King's ministers encouraged him to take a wife who could help secure England since, after breaking from the Catholic Church, Henry (and England) had become vulnerable and isolated in Europe. Two of the potential prospects were Anne and Amelia, sisters and the daughters of the Duke of Cleves. The only problem was Henry had no idea what they looked like, and he wasn't leaving England to meet them in person. So, he did what any guy would do in the present: he had them "text" him a picture first.

Obviously, there weren't iPhones yet (to Henry's dismay), so he did the next best thing: he had the royal painter, Hans Holbein, travel to Germany and paint their portraits. Henry gave Hans strict instructions to be as accurate as possible. Hans traveled to Germany, painted the sisters and brought back the portraits so the King could make his decision. This is the first recorded example in history of a man having his friend "text" a picture of a girl before meeting her. In the end, King Henry chose Anne over Amelia, but he was horrified when he met his German bride-to-be for the first time. She wasn't nearly as attractive as Hans painted. Six months later, Henry was single once again after he divorced Anne.

 

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Everyone knows him by name and by horrible song; King Henry VIII is one of the most iconic figures in all of history. As a history teacher, he is one I enjoy teaching about every year. Whether it's ...
Everyone knows him by name and by horrible song; King Henry VIII is one of the most iconic figures in all of history. As a history teacher, he is one I enjoy teaching about every year. Whether it's ...
 
 
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humphry
The Voynich Manuscripts.
10:50 PM on 11/20/2012
Was it king Henry who got his "Hampton Court"...
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01:58 AM on 11/19/2012
I am "royally" offended by the reference to the Peter Noone hit as a "horrible song." It was a pleasant diversion, unlike Henry's reign.
11:05 AM on 11/19/2012
Typical monarchy really, have what they want to excess and if it isnt acceptable remove it in any way they seemed fit. Its about time the whole outdated institution were ditched for something more modern and useful !!
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11:34 PM on 11/19/2012
lol, I hope you don't harbour the thoughts that it might cost less? Look at how much is spent on electing presidents, let alone keeping them whilst in office. And, you get a new one every 4-8 yrs.

The one thing our royalty give us is stability. We have a woman who has given 60 yrs loyal service. I would like to see any of us cope with their diaries. She doesn't get to call in sick to watch the cricket.
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Jaroslaw
12:59 AM on 11/19/2012
So what happened to the "royal painter" after making such a huge gaffe in painting Anne so poorly?
12:24 AM on 11/19/2012
He also had a picture of Christian of Milan sent to him. She was very beautiful. When he tried to follow up with her, she said something to the effect of, "If I had two heads, the King of England could have one them. But I only have one... so, no thanks!"
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edejan
01:09 AM on 11/19/2012
Smart move. I'd guess all the Princesses were pretty wary of him by then. F and F.
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11:39 PM on 11/18/2012
Poor Anne who was buxom, statuesque and tanned. Whereas Henry preferred his women small, pale and thin.

Holbein on the other hand was much taken by her beauty.
09:19 PM on 11/18/2012
Clever association! I love seeing the ways Henry STILL influences society. But this picture thing happened all the time with prearranged marriages, and did not originate with him. I've come across a surprising amount of material about the subject (by accident). Many people thought it necessary to see a picture before buying the cow, and some thought it was...skeezy? Despite your thesis being incorrect and without support (is this edition, anyway) , it's still funny, so...HaHa I guess
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Nicholas Ferroni
09:44 PM on 11/18/2012
I actually found a few prior situations as well, but none as iconic or entertaining as that of Henry. But, I thought he was the best figure to associate this with:)
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forestlady
10:57 PM on 11/18/2012
"This is the first recorded example in history of a man having his friend "text" a picture of a girl before meeting her."
OK I'm confused, you said this was the first recorded instance of this, but now you say you came across several other examples. Can you clarify this please?
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forestlady
11:05 PM on 11/18/2012
You say Henry married Anne of Cleves after his FOURTH wife died; his fourth wife was Anne of Cleves. Catherine Howard was the fifth wife.
08:15 PM on 11/18/2012
He answered, and I told him to come join us for drinks and "meet my girlfriend's pretty friend." He replied "Sounds good. Just text me a pic of her first." I refused and he didn't want to take a chance. Now, I can't blame him for wanting to see her first;

He wouldn't want to have to chop of her head if she didn't meet his expectations. Oink.
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lizinsarasota
07:20 PM on 11/18/2012
So you're saying that men have been shallow since Henry VIII? Gee, I'd bet they've been shallow since Christ was a boy.
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ESerafina42
Abandoned by wolves, raised by Republicans.
10:13 PM on 11/18/2012
Long before that, I'm sure.
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Giovanni Vitacolonna
07:05 PM on 11/18/2012
So, Anne was actually Henry's fourth wife. I've always thought there ought to be a musical about her who figured out she was not long for the crown. She maneuvered herself into an annulment. The marriage was never consummated. She was declared The King's Sister with her own household. She was close to step daughter Mary and actually became a Catholic.
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edejan
01:14 AM on 11/19/2012
Yes, she must have been savvy and politically adept to maneuver herself from a certain death sentence to a comfortable and long life.
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06:51 PM on 11/18/2012
"Additionally, here's a summary of his six wives: divorced, executed, divorced, executed, widowed."

That should be divorced, executed, died, divorced, executed, widowed. You missed Anne of Cleves.

I may be American, but I share a birthday with Henry VIII and have always taken an interest in his life for some reason.
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Giovanni Vitacolonna
07:01 PM on 11/18/2012
He missed Jane Seymour who died a week after giving birth to Edward. He was actually talking about Anne who was the subject of the Holbein painting.
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07:25 PM on 11/18/2012
My bad.
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10:56 PM on 11/19/2012
Gianni,

Oi. You are a history nerd .
06:31 PM on 11/18/2012
Not that it matters much in the grand scheme of things, but Anne of Cleves was wife #4; Henry's THIRD wife (Jane Seymour) was the one that died. Wife # 5 was Catherine Howard, who ended rather badly.

Even "The Tudors" got that much right.
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09:05 PM on 11/18/2012
You don't expect a history teacher to bother with facts, do you?
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11:41 PM on 11/19/2012
er, I think they should lol. Perhaps his cv now reads, Enthusiastic about his subject but could try harder.
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ESerafina42
Abandoned by wolves, raised by Republicans.
10:12 PM on 11/18/2012
"The Tudors" got something right?
06:18 PM on 11/18/2012
Nicholas, thanks for the post. It's interesting and funny as well. It brings forward to my memory of two recent blind dates, and if having a preview pic would have made a difference... 1 yes and 1 no.
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11:43 PM on 11/19/2012
ah, but what did they think of you? Funny how it's the men who want a pic yet on the whole there are more ugly men than women. Maybe we should start judging by looks, there wouldn't be much procreation going on then lol.