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Lord McAlpine Takes on the Twits on Twitter

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Lord McAlpine has promised to end "trial by Twitter". He has announced an unprecedented series of libel actions against twits who used the website to link him wrongly to child abuse allegations.

It is no small task - he plans to stop people saying libellous things on the internet - well, good luck with that your Lordship. You might as well say you want to eradicate stupidity on football terraces, or eliminate bad driving in built up areas.

This is all because of a Newsnight report wrongly claiming a senior Tory was a paedophile.
Remember, they didn't even mention his name - that was done by some flaming asses with access to the internet and nothing better to do.

Speaking of which, Silly Sally Bercow, the wife of the Speaker of the Commons, and George the-sky-is-falling Monbiot, a columnist for the Guardian (is that still going?) are among those who will be pursued by Lord McAlpine for using the microblogging site to tweet his name after the Newsnight programme was broadcast.

Lord McAlpine's solicitor, Andrew Reid, said the "nasty" tweets would "cost people a lot of money. We know who you are", he said. They might not know where you live but they have the modern equivalent: they know what your IP address is, and that knows where you live.

The internet is not a place where you can gossip and say things with impunity, and we are about to demonstrate that, said his legal beagle. What, no more unsubstantiated rumour and flaming insults? If that's true, it would leave something of a gaping hole on the net. Conspiracy nuttiness and illegal downloads of teen vampire films can only take up so much space.

Lord McAlpine's lawyers have hired a team of experts to root out the offending Twitter messages, including those that have been deleted, as well as those who re-tweeted them, in the manner of a "Oooh, you'll never guess what I just heard" over the garden fence, gossip monger of old.

The action was described as "unprecedented" by Lord Woolf, the former Lord Chief Justice.

It's suemageddon.

So, here are those numbers in full:

Lord McAlpine gets £185,000 of your money for being discomfited for several days - that's plus his costs - and let's assume his lawyers aren't cheap.

He will also get what we can imagine will be huge sums from the people he will now target who said daft things on twit's web sites.

George Entwhistle, the hapless ex-boss of the BBC gets a goodbye package of about £1.3m for ruining - oh, I'm sorry, that's - "running" the Corporation for not quite two months.

His predecessor, Mark Thomson, who presided over the omnishambles that created this mess in the first place got £800,000 a year while he was doing it, and will now earn £4m a year running the NY Times.

The previous bosses at the BBC enjoy a privileged, fabulous retirement of riches that you or I could only dream of, yet seemed not to notice one of their top stars was a serial child rapist despite the fact that, now he's dead, scores of people around Jimmy Saville appeared to be have been aware of what was going on all along, they just didn't want to make a fuss while he was still alive.

And the children who were raped and assaulted and threatened and attacked and had their entire lives ruined up to and including committing suicide because of it. get...nothing.

Because that's the British way. That's British justice.

Free to those that can afford it, unavailable to those that can't.