Having turned 32 recently, I suddenly feel like time is flashing by. My 30th birthday celebrations don't feel as though they were already two years ago and I nearly dropped my cuppa when I realised the other month that I started secondary school 20 years ago this year.
I am not the first person to question how quickly time passes and I definitely won't be the last. Life for everybody is just one big repeat of each and everybody else's; starting with the carelessness and arrogance of youth and ending with us pulling out a surprise grey hair and trying to stay awake passed 9.30pm. We all get a little bit more cynical as we grow and experience heartbreak and loss, we all get a little bit more laid back as we realise the things that truly are important and the things that aren't. We also care less about what people think of us.
When I was getting close to turning 30 I did actually get a little upset about it. I'm not quite sure why exactly but I think I just felt like my twenties had gone by so quickly and I felt overwhelmed that my thirties were already upon me and while I know I will start getting nervous once I go into my mid thirties and towards forty - or maybe I won't, many people have said to me they embraced turning forty even though they didn't want to turn thirty - I know I don't want to be twenty again. Two years into my thirties I am really enjoying the person I am becoming and the new things I am into. I always thought I would really miss my teens and twenties but, while there are aspects of my youth that I miss, I definitely wouldn't be that age again if I had the choice (though I would have the plump skin and slimmer waist). I am whole heartedly embracing this new thirty something person I am becoming.
Yes, there are some aspects of my new loves that make me seem ancient; I enjoy going out for dinner rather than going to a club or even a lively bar because I would much rather sit and eat a really nice meal and TALK rather than down shots and shout over loud music at my friends. I couldn't give two hoots about the music that is playing on Kiss 100 these days, I used to like keeping up with all genres of modern music so I didn't feel 'out of touch' but nowadays I stick to Radio X and enjoy listening to the music I really like. I prefer green tea to my old choice of builders tea with two and I try not to have caffeine in the afternoon because it keeps me up at night sometimes (now that DOES make me sound old) I would much rather share a bottle of wine with my hubby and not have a sore head in the morning and waste the day than binge drink until 4am and spend the day on the sofa with a duvet eating pizza (not that you can do that with a toddler anyway!) I like looking after myself by eating and drinking better, taking in some exercise (Albeit begrudgingly, deep down I am still that 14 year old girl who hates P.E. with a passion) and cooking healthy home made meals.
While some - or most - of those things would make my 17 year old self cringe, another thing that comes with getting older is caring less. I enjoy being myself more than I ever have done before. I care less about what people think about me or what I wear or what I enjoy or do with my life. I don't waste my time on toxic friendships or make an effort for people who clearly can't be bothered to do the same for me. I now have a happy life and while I have fewer friends, they are honest and decent friends. I now do more things that are of interest to me and my family. I enjoy being a mum and taking my daughter out to places that interest her and doing things that she loves.
So yeah I am getting older, before I know it I will be 36, looking back on this article and wondering where the time between being 32 and 36 went. I am getting older but it is OK because I am so much happier. Being young for me meant being awkward, painfully insecure and unsure of my opinions or self worth, being older means being content and you definitely can't top that.
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