Yes comrades. How is everyone? Okay? Okay... I do tend to say this quite often I know but... it's been a long time since we last spoke. I don't really remember when it was to be honest. Three weeks ago?

Fuck knows! Anyway... that American tour was...

Comrades.

The gig in Doozle-dorf was not the best. Not for me anyway. I must tell you I've got glandular fever and have been suffering with it for nearly a month now. Been feeling my age recently.

Good job I've only got five weeks...

Yes comrades.

So, Singapore then? It was great. I do like that gaff. Very exotic. It pretty much amounts to a gigantic shopping mall. Nice place. Nice people. Very hot. Very wet.

The Grand Prix was in town. Seems like a right laugh. Absolutely...

Now then comrades. Been a while I know. Been busy though innit? So... let's go back... way back...

I think the last time we spoke I was in the biggest retirement home in the world, that being the isle of Jersey. The gig was great as I...

Yes comrades... been a long time. Been on my holidays see? Very nice it was too. Went to a place called Spain. Mallorca to be precise.

So... as I remember the last time we spoke I was just about to play at that Edinburgh Castle? The show was pretty good...

Okay comrades. I don't have much time. Long time? Just can't seem to keep up during festival season. Too much going on. Here goes anyway...

So let's go back to what seems a lifetime ago now to the south of France. Can't remember the actual town/city I...

Comrades... this will be a long one.

So, the last time we spoke was when? Two weeks ago? Must have been? Was it? Hang on... let me check... that's right... it was the night before the festival in Belgium. Okay... right I'll get my thinking cap on...

So... now then... yes comrades!!

I've been having so much fun that I've forgotten to send one of these things for ages. Sorry 'bout that but you know how it is (or maybe you don't?)!

Anyway let's see what I can remember eh? So,...

Comrades... this cold is fucking killing me (man!).

Horrible, horrible couple of days. I fucking hate being a sick boy. It's at times like this I wish I was still in a band so I could just shuffle onstage and stand at the back. Not good.

Yes comrades.

So... that England game was an epic encounter. Great atmosphere. Good laugh and all.

Caught an early flight the next morning with a load of glum looking Swedes to Stockholm. Did a show at that Hultsfred Festival. It was okay.. nothing more. Think the crowd enjoyed it more...

Right comrades. Been a few days. Where were we exactly? On the way to the airport to catch a flight to the Ukraine I believe? Yes? I think so yes.

Flight was delayed a little bit and thank God it was. The most violent, loudest and windiest...

Yes comrades...

Festival season is upon us. Non-stop now. Flying here, there and everywhere.

You currently find me in the great city of Moscow. Did a festival last night with that band The Cure and a load of other bands no-one's ever heard of...

Well that tv show was - as predicted - fucking insane. It's quite difficult to know what these Japanese shows are actually supposed to be about, but I'm guessing it was like some kind of version of our very own Top of the Pops (R.I.P.).

It was...

Yes comrades. It's been a couple of days. This jet-lag is a fucker. Hardly slept a wink. So . . .

Did a show a couple of days ago at the Budokan. Quite a prestigious gig. Bob Dylan played here back in the day as did a little known band...

Yes comrades.

You might have guessed we've had a few days off. Back in London. Very nice it was too.

So... where were we? Santiago? Don't remember much about the gig. I'm sure it was stunning.

To be honest I was...

Yes comrades... so Lima? (that's in Peru by the way)

It's also the place where I wrote that song of mine called If I Had A Gun.
Nice place. Foggy. Stinks of dead fish!! Got a little bit wasted the first night on that drink 'pisco...

Yes comrades.

So... Paraguay? Holy shit-balls what a crazy country!! We'll get to the gig in a bit but first let me take you on a little journey from the hotel to the soundcheck. Forty minutes it took and honest to God you've never seen anything like...

Yes comrades... so... Buenos Aires?

Fucking great show. It always is in that place. It never disappoints. Big crowd, about 10,000!! Just like the old days (man)!!

The gig itself was out doors right beside a busy railway line and quite near an airport AND it was a full moon!...

Yes comrades.

So... Rio? Fuck me! What an unbelievable night. A truly special gig. Not because of anything I did I hasten to add - I played AND sang like shit!! But them kids man!?!? It was just a privilege to have been there never mind on...

Yes comrades... so, Sao Paolo.

Had a press conference early doors. Bit awkward to start with. It livened up though. It actually ended with my interpreter and a journalist just having a chat down their respective mics!!

The show was fucking mega. What a...