Tales From the Middle of Nowhere (Vol. 2): Where I Get Hammered at the Brit Awards

The Brits have all got a bit too slick now though, it's treated with a bit too much respect, if you ask me... It is but a TV show with a few awards carved up and spread around... And if I'm not very much mistaken did I detect the faint whiff of a few wrong 'uns miming? I think I did... You know who you are and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Yes...

Well... Can't remember when the last time was we spoke... To be honest I'm having trouble remembering anything after the Brits! What a smash up!! Well enjoyed it. It'll probably be the last time I ever get nominated so we were pretty determined to rip it a new arsehole, and from what I can gather we had a right good crack at it too.

It's all got a bit too slick that thing now though, it's treated with a bit too much respect, if you ask me... It is but a TV show with a few awards carved up and spread around... And if I'm not very much mistaken did I detect the faint whiff of a few wrong 'uns miming? I think I did... You know who you are and you should be ashamed of yourselves. I digged Coldplay though, and Blur and Olly Murs' dancers!! (Blimey!!!)

As for what went on after? Reports are still coming in. I remember going to a party on a boat.

I remember going to another party in a posh gaff in the West End. I remember getting that comedian Rob Brydon to do his thing for us (which was fuckin' funny). I remember... well not much else, to be honest.

Called it a day at about 10am!! Proper old school business. Didn't get home until 5pm the next evening and I'd somehow managed to nick a giant shoe and ended up with an £8000 watch!!! And I don't even wear a watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Felt as bad as I've ever felt yesterday. I was seriously thinking of phoning in sick.

I needn't have worried though. Last night's gig here in Newcastle was mega... Might have been the best one yet. Had a top laugh with the crowd. A great night. If you were there, I thank you.

ONWARDS.

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