THE BLOG

Your Perfect Boyfriend... or Your Female Friends? When the Gender Differences Stab You Through Your Heart.

12/03/2015 15:40 GMT | Updated 12/05/2015 10:59 BST

Your real female friends are there for you no matter what. And so are their pains, their doubts and their frustrations. And their constant reminder with regards to why men and women are different.

And it's true, often we are different. Our mentality can be different, our motivations different, our habits and bodily needs can and ARE different. Instead of just celebrating the different strengths we are bringing to the table of our relationship, we seem to concentrate on what sets us apart. And while Hollywood producers work hard on putting together yet another Hollywood Action Hero flick, where by combining different strengths that each hero owns, the world gets saved; we women, in real life, struggle hard to be the same as men or... should we fail, try to make a laughing stock out of the male qualities we don't get the hang of. For instance, like not taking advice from us. We may call them stubborn, stupid or something else, rather than remind ourselves that men are simply raised in a way they'll only accept the advice after they tried everything themselves (frustrating for many wives for sure).

The reality isn't far from movie highlights of 'saving the world', if you substitute the 'world' with a 'family'. And just like in the movies, you are better off when you build your relationship with someone who owns different 'super powers' to you and his own unique qualities. His strengths, and your softness. Your strengths, and his calmness. Or his nurturing nature and your career driven lifestyle. There are endless possibilities of building an amazing relationship with the opposite gender you so care for... And yet the nagging voices of female friends linger in your mind:

  • He doesn't deserve you
  • You know how men are...
  • Men just don't get us
  • Why can't men be like us?

The list continues.

It's understandable that women often see men as a threat, given the expression 'It's a man's world', is still echoed through the corridors of buildings or quietly whispered among your colleagues. What is even more exasperating is the fact that in our war for equality, we women try hard to become men, rather then celebrating our own unique qualities.

We women, stopped trying to bring our remarkable female qualities that can only benefit our relationship, our career, our social circles, our community. We think of our unique qualities as something to be ashamed of, given our inner beauty and our female nature held us captives in a male world... only decades ago.

The books that are written about how to understand a man, how to behave like a man and how to please a man. The truth is, if a man wants to date a man, he will date a man. He is now free to do so. Just like women are free to date women, if that's our choice.

If however you are a woman, who wants to meet her Mr. The One, the best way to go about it, is to celebrate your femininity and the merits that you, as a human being and an individual, offer.

So next time your female friends try to stray you away from your chance of getting closer to your Mr. Perfect, by booking yet another yoga workshop with you or planning yet another girls only holiday, or by badmouthing men; explain to them your personal life is not a threat to your friendship. If anything, concentrating on your female friends and ignoring your love life leaves you only half fulfilled and half expressed. Because your inner beauty and your sincerely female qualities will be only heartily appreciated and cherished where it's missed the most... in the male world.