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If I Want to Make a World a Better Place? Then Why Do I Fail?

23/01/2015 11:38 GMT | Updated 24/03/2015 09:59 GMT

...but I really want to succeed!

Why?

Because I know, that with my music, I make people happy. I want to know that I am doing something great in the world.

Familiar? But perhaps not in the same exact context? Yet surely at one point or another, you have said to yourself or others: "I want to make our world a better place!"

And don't hide behind my words. I know many of you, like we all know many of us. I follow your posts on social media, you respond to others posts by posting comments. In short, if you posted a few quotes regarding how to make the world a better place, you can connect with the client of mine, who happened to be a DJ. The very person who told me "I want to know that I am doing something great in the world."

Of course after that, he turned to blaming the overpopulated industry, how his style is very different and a river of excuses, justifications and explanations, started to flow.

Never mind his linguistic floodwaters of explanations, because his initial, (the key goal), is exactly what many people treat as their ultimate goal: "We are here to save the world." Even the songs are written, such as "When a child is born". Do you remember the words? Here:

"And all of this happened

Because the world is waiting

Waiting for one child

Black, white, yellow, no one knows

But a child that would grow up and turn tears to laughter

Hate to love, war to peace

And everyone to everyone's neighbour

Misery and suffering would be forgotten forever"

Yet the very desire to 'save the world' and 'to make other people happy' is what I see behind so many people's failures. Their failures to succeed in life, not to the outsiders by the way, but to themselves. Success can be a very internal feeling, and it rarely, if ever, gets gratified by the external factors. Call it human nature.

And while that is the reason behind so many unsatisfied people, that is where so many fail to understand the key reasons behind mindfulness and success.

Yes, many people get about the world nowadays, reposting quotes, giving their friends sound or not so sound advice, trying to help with ideas and save the world one way or another. Of course there is a bunch who just keeps whining about the others who are responsible for their misfortunes; parents, capitalism, the neighbour, that hooligan, chav, troll or the politicians, you name it.

What many successful people know, however, that behind any successful story or an act, no matter how god-like the act may seem, there lies a very selfish goal. Even if that simple selfish goal is making an anonymous donation to a child in need of heart surgery, is simply there to make the donor (i.e. the successful person, on a personal level first of all) feel good, the goal nevertheless was born out of a very personalised and egotistical need of 'I want to feel better' or 'I want to feel good about myself.'

And this is the secret many fail to see, for they're blinded by the results of the simple selfish act that saved, truly saved, someone's life. How beautiful is that?

You see, how a simple act of taking care of your own needs multiplies into a great good in the world? Perhaps my example is very simplistic? Go on, read and find examples of your own. Just read between the interview lines. If the actor says, I wanted to create a charity for kids, the translation would be "I love surrounding myself with happy smiles of recognition". And there is nothing wrong with that! Because they truly follow what so many leaders said in one form another:

"Start from yourself."

This a key reason behind so many successful people. They are driven by their inner passion to succeed, they have to feed that permanent hunger of their internal needs. And the minute the successful people get happy? Everyone else gets happy.

That is how you save the world. Or at least, this is how you make the world a better place.

Louis Armstrong used to sing:

"When you're smiling, When you're smiling,

The whole world smiles with you,

When you're laughing, When you're laughing,

The sun comes shining through,

But when you're crying you bring on the rain,

So stop your sighing be happy again,

Keep on smiling 'cause when you're smiling..."

Next time you work on your goals, check the motives behind them, are you working so hard in order to be recognised (that's close to narcissisms by the way and considered to be a mental disorder)? Or because you want to be happy? Perhaps it's time to switch to a project or a goal you can work on that will satisfy yet another dream of yours? The one where "The whole world smiles with you" and for the right reasons ☺

The advice I gave to my client? It was a question he responded with the answer, the very answer you already know:

- Remember when you are on a podium... the moment you are happiest. Is that because you are thinking that you are making people around you happier?

- No. It's when I am concentrating on playing the music the way I like it the most. And it's true those nights are the most successful.

Because when you are happy, the world is happy with you. Stay happy x