Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence and Adele (does anyone actually know her surname?) jump in the back of a taxi, the driver says 'Where to?'
All three look at each other and simultaneously throw their heads back with glee to proclaim 'to the golden mansion where there are endless puppies to stroke, a barman ready to make mojito's at our every whim and a platter of the finest cuisines in the world propped up by our Oscars and Grammys, of course!'
The taxi man replies 'Gosh, that sounds wonderful, do you have the postcode?'
Emma thrusts her arm out in front of her, pointing at a sight so magical, the driver blinks twice before believing it. 'Just drive to the end of the rainbow!' They all start laughing. Harp noises play, your vision ripples, you awake from a deep slumber with a smile on your face. They have the best life.
I'm pretty sure that's what happened when Adele, J.Law and Emma Stone were papped in the back of a cab in NYC this week. I wish I'd been sat in that cab because undoubtedly I would have enjoyed listening to everything they had to say but unfortunately, my album isn't due to drop until 2016 so it might be a while before I can join in. I know that I'd quite like to be part of that friendship group primarily because they seem so down to earth. Each of them have found success due to this appeal. Furthermore, Adele is British but Jen and Emma are notorious for dating British people so already, we have so much in common.
Unfortunately, the term #Squadgoals which has accompanied the pictures hundreds of times, makes me want to vomit in my mouth and for a while I didn't know why. I've just had to deal with spewing on an almost daily basis after scrolling through twitter or reading articles about Taylor Swift and her mates. Now though, I think it's because it represents some pretty ugly things. Cliques, jealousy, the desire to be 'cool' all make me harp back to 15 year old Olivia and being scared of what the 'popular girls' thought of me. At 24, I respect myself and am able to surround myself with peers that wouldn't try and tear me down. However, I do know that some people never grow out of that and I think #SquadGoals has the potential to perpetuate that. I know that some people use 'squad goals' as a term for 'we had a good time, aren't we great? I love us' and that's nice, I appreciate it, good for you! For those who use it to make people feel excluded, 'look how great we are, you WISH you were this cool', stop, no no no, put the phone down, no amount of emojis will make it okay to post that online, not even the laughing tear one. STEP AWAY FROM THE AUBERGINE. In an interview with NYLON magazine Hollywood success Chloë Grace Moretz said something similar (minus the aubergine reference) "I agree with having a good core group of friends, but the issue I have with squads is it creates exclusivity", "I was never included in those things when I was a kid. I was the weird one that chose to do movies, so now I go out of my way to be nice to people and make them feel included."
Deep down nobody wants to be in a 'squad' that requires you to have to have certain qualities to entitle your membership because if you lose those qualities, you should still have a 'squad' to turn to, in fact you probably really need one. Second of all, if you require people to admire you and your squad, then actually you're dependent on MY praise, I am not dependent on yours. Third, let's just have a mutual respect for one another yeah? I fit into a group of weird people who find farting funny and don't want to wear a full face of makeup every day. I'm okay with the fact some people don't want to be like me, I respect you for having your own identity. No one is better than anyone else, your opinion might lead you to prefer some people more than others but it is just an opinion.
When it comes to Jenni/Adele/Emma I'd like to think that I wouldn't need an Oscar, Grammy or a big money pile to become their mates, it just might help us move in the same circles. The reason I would love to sit in the back of a cab with them is because they have earnt a lot of respect, they represent something that I also stand for and I admire them and actually that's all it comes down to.Suggest a correction