THE BLOG

Today I Paraded a Poo Around My House

20/07/2015 17:49 BST | Updated 20/07/2016 10:59 BST

Never EVER did I think I would be so excited about another human taking a dump, but my oh my the sound of poo hitting plastic has made this potty training mums year!

Oh yes, all the cliches of "oh how life has changed" and all the worries of not wanting to sound like a boreish mummy loser celebrating her kid taking a shit can go to hell, as I am over the bloody moon and so proud of my Tiny Human and her bowel control skills that I don't care who knows about it.

With a baby and a toddler in the house potty training is something I have been dreading and putting off in equal measure. Oh yes, because this over-eager to procreate mum didn't leave it long before jumping back on the baby train, it means I have two Tiny Humans needing their bums changed and usually at the same time after having the biggest and messiest poos EVER (on the plus side I can now add being able to breastfeed a baby whilst changing the bum of a toddler with poo in my hair to the long and equally amusing and downright crazy skills motherhood has awarded me.)

However, the thought of me (at best) or my now mobile 10 month old (at worst) coming across and sinking one of her four teeth into a discarded nugget fresh from my toddlers bottom or alternatively, paddling in a pool of toddler pee, instilled enough fear in me to leave it those few months extra until, if I'm totally honest, I wasn't as knackered as I was a few months earlier so I could actually face whatever potty training threw at me (lone nugget or puddle of terror you don't scare me - much!).

I did not have a clue where to start, how "committed" me and my Tiny Human should be or which potty training camp we should fall into? Were we the die hard lets-get-this-bad-boy-nailed in a week camp or the more laid back give-it-a-go-and-see-what- happens camp? We therefore, did both. After a few trial laid back sessions just to get her (and me) used to it we went all bums blazing determined to take down the potty training malarkey in one swift and totally kick ass toddler move.

After two days and what felt like three billion pairs of princess pants later we were lucky(?) enough to witness the miracle of the lone nugget making its first ever landing into the actual potty. Not on the sofa, not tucked behind a favourite toy and not in the mouth of my 10 month old - WIN BLOODY WIN!

And how does one celebrate such a milestone event?

Why with a turd mardi-gras of course! Oh yes people, what else could mark and celebrate this monumental event other than our very own poo parade. Cue Overly excited mum and her Tiny human parading the aforementioned nugget on its plastic throne around the house for all to see!

Bloody brilliant! #inpoowetrust

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