New Year

14/01/2016 09:17 GMT | Updated 14/01/2017 10:12 GMT

Happy new year everyone and I hope you all ended up drinking copious amounts of champagne snogging someone wonderful on new year!

I have crawled back to London with a six-week hangover with my New Year's resolution list reluctantly under my arm, and bizarrely 14 days in I can report it's so far, so good! I have quit smoking, yes actually quit smoking, on Christmas Eve I had my last cigarette and now I only carry this enormous smoke-producing piccolo which makes me look like I'm a rebellious pied piper!

I have decided to drink less and this week have managed to drink more lemon tea than most of Asia and finally a personal challenge I have decided 2016 is going to be I'm looking to have not be a complete disaster and snog far more people... this part is still a work in progress but we have three seasons to go!

Post Christmas I feel that I now resemble a Marks and Spencer bacon-wrapped canapé as I have been slowly roasting by a country fire for the last few weeks. Although my tan is good the feeling inside is one of excess and of complete and utter over-indulgence and gluttony. I decided that now it's 2016 something has to change. I shall be replacing de-caff espresso martinis with some green crap from Whole Foods that tastes like earth juice, and for once I shall be using my gym membership I have paid for since 2009 - and I might even discuss the idea of bootcamp pilates.

Next on my list is to date for purpose and not for disaster (I had a famously shocking love life in 2015). The idea is that by late 2016 I don't want to be shopping only for Bear, my two-year-old cross pomeranian chihuahua whose Fetch Ocado Christmas present delivery equated to the cost of return flights to Europe! However much I love my beautiful puppy, the realisation hit that en route back from working in Australia I completely ignored the perfume section to go to the stuffed animal section where I would spend 30 minutes distinguishing which animal from Down Under he would prefer!

After settling for none other then the great white shark with squeaker, I boarded the plane having made a decision, this year I need to be focussing on not just someone who requires me to pick up their poo in a bag twice a day or whose friends come round and don't pee on my new sofa. This, I have decided, is the year for change.

This is the year that I will have sex more than three times, fall outrageously in love, stop eating chocolate as a pre-bed snack and, obviously, have less than 12% of body fat. However for now whist I decide where to start we best have a celebratory drink, although best make mine a slimline!