The Blog

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Olly Lennard Headshot

15 Facts You Didn't Know About Easter

Posted: Updated:

To get you in the Easter mood here's 15 unusual "facts" about the Passion and the first Easter.

1. When Jesus rose again the Roman authorities investigated it as a life insurance scam.

2. The only disciple who didn't see the risen Christ was Geoff "No-eyes" Alphaeus.

3. The Easter resurrection is mentioned in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John but not Britney.

4. At the last supper the disciples ate lamb because it was Passover, meaning the wine was probably Beaujolais.

5. In the non-canonical Gospel of Thomas, the stone at the entrance of the tomb is rolled back by the Easter bunny.

6. Jesus passed the three days he spent in the tomb by reading The Da Vinci Code.

7. When Jesus was crucified the Roman executioner went home reflecting on a job well done, totally unaware that he would be sacked on Monday morning.

8. Before Jesus emerged from the tomb Russell Kane did a ten-minute set to warm up the crowd.

9. Pontius Pilot "washed his hands" at Jesus' trial because all Roman employees must wash hands before returning to work.

10. Gordon Ramsay oversaw the cooking of the Passover meal in a Nando's in Jerusalem.

11. The two criminals crucified either side of Jesus were the online managers of megaupload.com.

12. When the Sermon on the Mount was done the disciples stood at the exits and hawked official Jesus merch.

13. For advertising reasons Jesus was advised to change his name to Je$us, but declined.

14. Mel Gibson's camera crew were denied access to the facts.

15. According to artists' impressions Jesus was the only white guy in first century Jerusalem and nobody thought this was odd.