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Why Sherlock Is The A***hole That We Love

02/01/2017 11:57 GMT | Updated 02/01/2017 11:57 GMT

If you haven't seen Sherlock series 1,2,3,4 keep reading, you won't understand anything anyway.

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Image author's own

*For the non-Brits, Cumberbatch being a Brit would be quite enough to like him. Hence, no inclusion of his English factor in the whole "why" thing here.

He is a heroic, fantastically brilliant, consulting detective living in London. In the Guinness Book of World Records, Sherlock Holmes is listed as "the most-portrayed literary human character in film and TV", who was played by more than 75 actors since his creation in 1885. However, this time I am talking about Benedict Cumberbatch as the official face of BBC's Sherlock.

WHAT IS UP WITH THAT BAKER STREET BLOKE, REALLY?

He is a self-proclaimed high-functioning sociopath, whatever that means. This allows him to be "a complete dickhead", according (but not limited) to John Watson in a moment of weakness.

Sherlock doesn't know that the Earth revolves around the Sun, or who Margaret Thatcher is, but knows how to play violin. Who needs astronomy, when you can let him hypnotise you with your favourite tune on a sophisticated string instrument?

The bad boy of London's crime fighting scene, Sherlock is occasionally chivalrous. I guess that's where the "high-functioning" part comes to play. He's invited to Buckingham palace, but politely declines. Disobeying authority is one of his fortes. That's kind of sexy. For some of us anyway. He makes inappropriate comments that make your blood boil. Our heart rate increases, pupils dilate, our body automatically confuses it with desire (scientific AF).

WHY YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH HIM

Is he that fuckboy that we can't resist? Is he the one? If you're "clueing for looks", here are some of them.

  • Sherlock wouldn't normally glance at you, so naturally you're attracted to him.
  • You are 100% sure you will change Sherlock if you date him. You'll be better than that Janine woman. But to think what he did to her... bloody hell.
  • You'd watch him play the violin while verbally abusing his brother and the Commonwealth anytime.
  • When you're with Sherlock, you think you're as badass as he is. Maybe you're lying to yourself, but you also want to be that "unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet". Just a little bit.
  • We thought he didn't know anything about sex, but apparently, he's genius in that department (see: Janine episode)
  • You love his voice, and I don't mean the English accent. He is enunciating a lot, so you sort of watch his mouth and let your mind wander. Check his rendition of R. Kelly's "Genius" if you doubt it.
  • Carries handcuffs with him at all times... Need I say more? (see: the wedding episode)
  • Coat flip and hair ruffle.

WHY IT WON'T WORK BETWEEN YOU TWO

If you want Sherlock, you're clearly a hopeless romantic (or a masochist), which means you want a marriage proposal. Hopeless is the key word. However,

  • A wedding for him is "nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world". Obviously. I mean, elementary.
  • He is shallow, so you will need to compensate for the size of your lips and breasts, unless you have Irene Adler's measurements.
  • Is he too good/bad to be true? Usually is.
  • He's fictional. Just like my name on Instagram.

IS IT MAYBE HIS LOOKS?

No. It's not just his sharp cheekbones that Ms Adler so lovingly slapped. I personally didn't find him appealing when I first saw him in the first episode of the BBC series. No. It wasn't until later, after I finished watching this first episode, that I learned about his antisocial skills, risky and arrogant behaviour, drug abuse, (don't forget his wonderful parents), that I naturally started to be somewhat obsessed with the man. I have seen Benedict in other projects, but never felt the same. I am and you are clearly attracted to Sherlock persona. And his Belstaff Milford coat.

CONCLUSION

Sherlock is the essence of euphoria, excitement and danger. Charles Darwin would have his baby if he could. But remember: "sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side, and love is a dangerous disadvantage". You can never become his woman. The Woman. Or his man. But you can have fun trying.

Olya Gerasimova is an instagramer, travel blogger and likes to write about London and the UK in general.

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This post contains quotes and references from BBC Sherlock. How many did you count?