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5 Tips for Dating a Massage Therapist

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Inspired by Tom Chambers' 5 things you should know before dating a journalist.

Have you ever felt a sense of mild excitement when a good looking woman you've been talking to at a party tells you she is a massage therapist? Well, you may need to curb your enthusiasm, right now. Not that a massage therapist will be a bore, a neurotic holier-than-thou yoga bunny munching on seeds and completely teetotal (she's at the party, isn't she?), but abandon any expectation that if you were her boyfriend you would spend the whole day being massaged from top to toe.
Here's why.

1. A massage therapist's job always comes first.

It's a fact of life, accept it. There's people out there who need a massage. As you are not a client on the mailing list, I am afraid you are not going to be treated like a VIP. But practice makes perfect, read all the tips and you can potentially become the ideal boyfriend. Or at least get a date.

2. 9 - 5ers need not apply.

If you have a 9-5 job, it's very unlikely that your schedules will match. While you're slaving away at the computer, she's either with clients or setting up appointments, writing blogs, updating her website. And when it's finally 5pm and you can enjoy some leisure time, she's snowed under with work, often finishing at 9pm, by which time you are probably already asleep on the sofa. If you are a freelancer you are more likely to get the gig.

3. Don't expect to receive daily massages.

It just won't happen. But you can bribe your way into getting an occasional massage by cooking an amazing meal or organising a fabulous all inclusive holiday (and make sure there's a spa in the hotel!). A massage therapist works in the services industry so taking extra work home is not the most appealing of options. Pestering, pleading and poking will not give you any results. You may want to trick her into volunteering giving you a massage by rubbing your own back in a very unprofessional and non-technical manner. This will awaken her competitive streak and she will tell you to stop because she will take over. (Worth a try but after the second or third time it won't work!).

4. Massage therapists love an organised diary.

So if your back really hurts, the last thing you want to do is to ask for a back rub there and then. The line to take is always to ask for an appointment (yes, you read that right). "How does Wednesday at 4pm sound?" I promise you you'll score extra points for that, especially if you are at the above mentioned party and still trying to make a good impression. And, by the way, ask for her business card, check her website on your mobile and compliment her on how great it looks and how easy to navigate it is. Trust me, nothing beats a bit of flattery on web skills!

5. Propose a fun leisure activity to do together.

Massage therapists are highly motivated individuals who love people and thrive on social interaction. Iceskating, bowling, karaoke, dancing are all activities who will help you score brownie points as a potential boyfriend. For extra points, organise a cooking class or book two spaces at a lecture (anatomy and physiology is recommended if you want to become boyfriend of the year: it's a date plus continuous professional development for the massage therapist, it's a win-win!).

So, you're read the tips: dating a massage therapist is a challenge, but a fun one at that. Keep practising and you may even deserve a daily massage if you play by the rules! (This applies to parents, relatives, siblings and friends of massage therapists too!).

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