Britain is currently balls-deep in "a once in a generation summer" of "gentle patriotism," according to Labour leader Ed Miliband, with a boss-eyed public munching its way through a series of flag-waving exercises birthed last year by a royal wedding, fattened by the Diamond Jubilee, shipped off to the abattoir by Euro 2012 and unceremoniously slaughtered by the Olympics. All we need now is another lovely war and we'll be gorging on the entire nationalistic herd.
My peers indulge in this nonsense like bullying seagulls pecking each other for chips thrown on the prom, blindly tearing at whatever artery-plugging junk they're fed by people bigger than they. What really galls me is that so many people excuse it as "a bit of harmless fun". Why fear the Jubilee? It's just a few days off with a "cheeky" lager and a calorie overdose. Why not celebrate our nation?
The biggest problem with patriotism is that it enforces a sense of national identity, that it is, literally, nationalistic. As we move forward into the 21st Century, the problems we face are global, and this "convenient fiction," as Joyce had it, hinders our ability to unite on a planetary level by dividing us and encouraging us to think - and act - on a local one. In a time where national identity should be being resigned to the foreign country of the past, patriotism promotes it. Want the coming generations to face a nightmarish environmental scenario? Keep up your steady diet of pride.
When we group under a flag we define ourselves in opposition to others; we display intention to win rather than solve. The ecosystems on which we depend are collapsing, in case you hadn't heard, but time and again international committees fail to reach accord on climate change, deforestation, over-fishing and the like because the nations involved are duty bound to represent the commercial interests of their people. Their people; not people. David Cameron couldn't even be bothered to turn up to Rio+20.
Nationalism has failed in a real sense, and unless we seize the vision to move beyond it global society may very well fail with it. As a concept it cannot fulfil global environmental needs or those of worldwide trade systems: we need a global system, not a national one. We're seeing the nationalistic end-game, as the dinosaurs of conservatism attempt to convince the public that the way forward is backwards. If the euro is experiencing problems, France must revert to the franc. If the euro-area shudders, Britain may consider an exit. National interest must precede the interest of humanity, we're told.
Of course, patriotism suits our rulers very well. It keeps them in power. Tough economic times allow the establishment to offer nationalism as a comfort food, an overdose of bird-baiting stodge to lure us away from the the fitness regime we hope will eventually prevent a middle-aged heart attack. Haven't got enough money? Wave this. Happy now? Good. "We're all in this together".
But patriotism, now matter how "gentle," nooses our necks and pulls us, blindfolded, to the right. When we allow our leaders to capitalise on nationalism, instead of supporting those who demand greater unity, we invite extremism back into mainstream politics by saying we want to be bound by our physical borders and those that would further close them. By painting a Union Jack on your face, by indulging in displays of national pride, you're perpetuating the stench of UKIP, the droning fart in Europe's political spacesuit, and offering a bunk-up to fun-loving racists like Nick Griffin and Marine Le Pen. You're allowing Theresa May to ruin people's lives. You're showing presidents that they must push to the extreme right in their search for popularity.
You do this by saying you believe in the flag.
While you cheer "the boys" on the TV, dressed in your England shirts, you're supporting a system of politics that will eventually destroy our ecology. While you prise grease-sodden sausage rolls away from your Union Jack paper plates and swill beer in honour of the Queen, you allow fascism to, yet again, root in the paving stone cracks of Europe's national borders. By being patriotic, by feeling pride in "your" flag, you are encouraging racism and pushing life as we know it towards further crisis.
God save the Queen. Just a harmless bit of fun. At least try to think about it the next time you go to string up the bunting.
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The Olympics are exposing Britain as a self-obsessed nation
But you wouldn't understand that if you were not standing in the rain with them, watching boats full of sea scouts carrying dozens of different national flags, or Bondi beach lifesavers rowing through the gloom, or a lone lunatic gondolier not quite keeping up, or a barge with a band that was half-Scottish pipers and half-Indian drummers (playing a madly marvellous medley of Scots and Indian music). And of course you couldn't have joined us, because I expect you were too busy assessing how challenging the latest video fantasy intergalactic wargame is, and how realistic is its depiction of blowing the heads off alien warriors. Far more exciting, I'm sure, than talking to your neighbour at a street party.
The point is that the cheering and waving and laughing was real; so was the rain, and the determination not to let that spoil things. It was shared by a mass of different real human beings, young and old, black and white, from all over the country and indeed the world. Yes, some national pride - there are many things to be proud of in the way, on the whole, we do things here, and in the pleasure that others seemed to be taking in our pride and pleasure. And I, for one, was delighted that for once the union flag was reclaimed (by the sheer numbers of them) by ordinary, benevolent people a little proud and happy to be British - and taken AWAY from the extreme right wing, who have owned it for far too long.
In an ideal world, global governance, care and support FOR ALL regardless of race or religion would be wonderful, but such control would inevitably fall into the wrong hands : (